1. Extra time should always be allowed for the journey down. The boys will inevitably need to stop off for a few new shirts (and black socks, toothbrush, razors, the list goes on). This annual shopping trip will kit some out until the same time next year.

2. The price of the Irish Farmers Journal is €2.80. This is essential information as participants in the Know Your Ag Final will ask you this on their way into the competition on Friday night. This is despite the fact that they buy it every week and have also studied the publication with a fine tooth comb for the past six weeks.

3. One costume will be the big hit at the “Old School Horrors” fancy dress night on Friday, not for its originality, but because most people will be wearing it and they all went to the same discount store.

4. Yes you’re in Laois but this is not the Electric Picnic and at no point will anyone say, “There’s a great vibe here, the atmosphere is just amazing.” You’ll be having too much fun and won’t feel the need to remind yourself that you are. It’ll be all Dunlop wellies on Saturday too, no Hunters or polka dots in sight.

5. On more than one occasion you will hear animal noises echoing across the lobby of the hotel and the occasional mart auctioneer. Stock judging (of the animal kind) doesn’t take place until Sunday but some members get lonesome for the farm at the weekend and may also have recurring dreams about cow number 0182 and 0073.

6. Farm tours will start on time in Laois. They never do any other year but all buses will depart at 9am!

7. How many acres? Do you have any road frontage? They are old chat up lines now. Newer versions include – Do you have much room for expansion? What size of a block have you around the parlour? If these lines somehow work on you just remember the cows are 24/7 and 365 days a year. So, your reply should be – When are you getting the robot(s) installed?

8. Love will blossom…for the weekend…and for some for keeps! Many’s a story/wedding/christening speech we’ve heard with the words “it all started at the rally”. Just make sure you come down the aisle with more than you went up it.

9. Many delegates will forget their suit shoes for the banquet. There’ll be so many Converse runners and Dubarry shoes walking around that the past presidents will think that it’s a new trend that the young people have.

10. You’re in Laois, the heart of Ireland. We don’t do things by halves around here. We’re the current home of the most successful national ploughing championships ever and soon to be home to the biggest and best ever Macra Rally. Let loose in Laois.