Child's play

By Maria Moynihan

Chances are that your child is on Bebo, writes Maria Moynihan. So why aren't you?

It's life Jim, but not as we know it. With more than one million Irish users, Bebo has quickly become the most popular website in the country, a virtual world with a real-life community. And more than likely, your child is part of it.

For those not in the Bebo know, the social networking phenomenon is hard to fathom. Basically, Bebo allows you to set up your own website very easily by following a template. Once up and running, you can personalise the site with photos, comments, quizzes and songs. It's almost like standing in a shop window and saying "this is my life".

There's no mystery as to why Bebo is so popular: it's fun. You can email your friends, share pictures, post your favourite music videos or flirt with the current object of your affection. However, as with any new and powerful technology, the potential for abuse is also there.

There have been many scare stories about Bebo, highlighting how it can be used by cyber bullies and predators. If your Bebo site is public, it can be seen by literally millions of people across the globe. There's no reliable age or identity verification, meaning it's very easy for somebody to pretend to be something they're not on Bebo.

Although inappropriate material is banned, a survey among Irish teens last year revealed that they thought it was easy (42%) or very easy (34%) to access pornographic material, while 50% admitted to seeing examples of bullying online. Then there's the pressure to be popular on Bebo, competing to have as many "friends" and "profile views" as others.

Bebo trends

Luison Lassala, Chairman of the Anchor Youth Centre in Dublin and freelance IT consultant, has undertaken extensive research into the Bebo phenomenon in Ireland and regularly gives talks in schools in association with the National Parents Council.

While he thinks that social networking sites have many benefits, he has also witnessed some disturbing trends online and believes that parents must take an active role in ensuring that their children behave responsibly.

"The media have been highlighting predators, cyber bullying and accessing adult material and a lot of Irish families are saying: 'That's not going to happen to my child.' The problem is there are so many more things going on on Bebo that are definitely going to affect your child," he says.

"It's like a big popularity contest and you do anything to attract people to your site. I mean, they have competitions on Bebo now about who is the most popular, who is the prettiest, and people are selling themselves.

"The thing that disturbed me most is how young teenagers were using this phenomenon to say things to each other of a very sexual, explicit nature - things that they would probably not say to their faces. I got the impression that they were behaving very differently online than in the real world. All those things are corrupting the most formative years of a person's life. And I just don't know how parents can bring up a child if they're not aware of what's going on, because it's a new world and it's very difficult to control."

Recommendations

Mr Lassala believes that parents must take active steps to speak to their children about Bebo and to get to grips with the technology. "Try to talk to your children about it," he says. "Try to find out what's going on through them. Try to earn their trust. It is hard, but it is possible. And the only way to do that with Bebo is if you're in it, you're part of it and you're discussing it with your child.

"So be informed, know what's going on and don't be afraid of technology. One of my recommendations is to create your own Bebo profile. You don't have to look at your child's site; just go in and surf."

Parents with children on Bebo can also ensure their offspring are aware of the various tools available to protect oneself from abuse or to report harmful material online.

"There are very good utilities to protect oneself," he says. "For instance, one that very few people are aware of is a filter that sends you an email that says so and so has sent you a comment, do you want to accept it. That way you are already protecting yourself from people putting stupid things on your website.

"You can delete things that are not appropriate, and, finally, you can report to the Bebo authorities. I've tried it a couple of times and the response has been fairly okay and I have heard of people who have had their profiles closed down because they were misbehaving. So it is possible to behave properly and safely and ethically - just do the basics."

According to Mr Lassala, it is imperative that Irish parents educate themselves on Bebo sooner rather than later. Because it is here to stay. "I'm convinced this is a way of life," he concludes.

"We've had fixed-line telephone, mobile phones, MSN, texting and now we have Bebo. This is just one other way of staying in touch. But I'm convinced it's not a fad. I think in a few months' time Bebo will be just one of many aspects of a child's life, but a very important one and one that parents need to be aware of."

How to set up your own site

5 easy steps to setting up a bebo account (for parents)

• Log onto http://www.bebo.com/ and click on "Sign On".
• A registration form appears asking for your name, age, gender and country. You must also enter an email address and password for security purposes.
• You can then edit your profile. You can add your relationship status, hometown and likes/dislikes, etc. You are free to enter as much or as little information as you want.
• Finally, you are asked whether you want to make your site public (open to everybody on Bebo) or private (open to selected friends). You also have the option of adding contact details such as a phone number and an address to be viewed by selected friends.
• One last click and you're an official Bebo member!