Dear Miriam,

After a few years of a long-distance relationship, I got married earlier this year to a farmer and moved from Dublin to Cork. Thankfully, my employer has been very accommodating and allowed me to work remotely, though I still have to go up to the office from time to time.

I know I’m lucky to have such an arrangement and that I should be very grateful. However, I have found the whole transition very isolating and, at times, overwhelming. I miss having the interaction with my colleagues, whether it’s to bounce an idea off or have a cup of tea with.

Because my husband is so busy on the farm, he might only grab a sandwich at lunchtime for 10 minutes, so entire days can go by without really seeing another human being. I also find that because I’m not going into an office, I’m working in the evenings at the kitchen table or in the sitting room, which is not ideal.

While I don’t miss the commuting etc, I really am struggling with the whole situation. Do you think I’m crazy to feel like this? I’d appreciate any advice.

Newly-wed, Cork

Dear Newly-wed,

Thank you for your email. The first thing I would say is don’t be too hard on yourself for feeling like this. Not only have you got married and moved home, you are also trying to adapt to a whole new way of working, even if you are in the same job. That’s three big changes in your life right there, and of course it’s natural to feel this way until you get the balance right.

Despite all the benefits of working from home, I agree that it can be very challenging, for all the reasons you list. That’s why I would suggest introducing some “house rules” in order to introduce a good work-life balance.

It might take a bit of effort initially, but I think a few key changes will make all the difference to the way you will feel going forward with this new arrangement.

The first thing I would recommend is that you create a designated work space for yourself eg in the box room, rather than bringing your laptop to the kitchen table or on to the couch. Invest a little bit in setting it up like an office – ie get yourself a good desk and chair, a filing cabinet, landline etc if required. If you have that physical separation between your workplace and home place – even within the same building – it will be easier to make the break between your working day and your personal time and space.

In the same way, I think you also need to be quite strict regarding your working hours.

If office hours are 9am to 5.30pm in Dublin, then that’s what they should still be when working from home, as tempting as it might be to start a little bit later or to work on in the evenings. It might take a bit of discipline, but I think this is a key element to successfully striking the balance when working from home.

Once you have those two things in place, the next step is to look at ways to bring in that human interaction to your daily life. I know your husband is busy on the farm and usually eats on the go, but would it be possible to agree that you would have an hour lunch break together even two days out of five?

On the other days, I would look at getting out for lunch, even if it is only to get a coffee somewhere and read a book. We all need human connection and even a few words and a smile with a friendly waitress can make a huge difference to our day.

I would also look at joining some type of group or taking up a class one or two evenings a week. Not only will that make you wrap up work on time, it will also help you meet new people in the community and start to feel more at home there.

I hope these tips help and I wish you all the best. CL