As regular readers of this column know, I treated myself to the gift of idleness during the month of January.

Granted it wasn’t all my idea but I got on with it and relaxed until I was almost horizontal.

Naturally when I was relaxing, I reckoned that applied to everything, including what I ate.

I can categorically tell you now that there is no truth in the old adage that if you lose weight slowly, you will put it back on slowly too.

That’s not what happens.

Sticking with the programme

I managed to add eight pounds to my waistline even though I was walking eight to 10 kilometres a day. And it’s not like I was eating everything around me including the kitchen sink.

I have a great imagination and I have this image of little men with hard hats and high-vis jackets working feverishly, shovelling fat into cells all over my body.

“Hurry, hurry,” the foreman shouts to his army of workers. “We must hold on to as much of this lovely fat as possible. She’s let her guard down but she’ll return to Weight Watchers and before you know it, it will be back to starvation rations for us.”

I’d like to think it’s the real explanation for how quickly I can gain the pounds.

So I am back on the treadmill trying to lose them once again. I know it works; it’s just a matter of sticking with the programme.

Here’s one interesting little fact that had me sitting up and taking notice at my class: do you know the little foil pack of butter you get on your side plate if you are eating out? The one you’d need two of just to cover your toast or scone with a decent helping of butter?

Well, God help us when it comes to points (how Weight Watchers counts your daily food intake), those little pads of butter are four points each. That’s one-seventh of your total daily food allowance of between 28 to 30 points.

And don’t even think about having a scone – it would wipe away almost your entire rations for a single day.

House full of food

I grew up in a house where we always had plenty of food. A house where bread was made daily.

Even after my father died and we were very young, we knew how to make scones and sponge cake and jam and buns.

There was always something nice for visitors and for the so-called “tramps” who walked the roads and stopped at farmhouses to be fed.

So I’m mortified if a visitor calls and I haven’t something homemade to offer them.

Not so a friend of mine. I get a cup of tea when I visit and that’s it. My friend has three teenagers and says she couldn’t keep them in sweet cakes and biscuits.

So now she spends 58c a week on two packets of rich tea biscuits. And when they are gone, they are really gone until the next week.

She’s also emptied her larder of cake-making ingredients in case she’s tempted to do a bit of baking.

It’s Spartan but it works and she has lost over 16lbs since beginning the regime in September.

I don’t think I could ever be as strict as that. But then again, maybe the best customer for my cakes and tarts is myself.

I think it’s time to empty the larder.