The Irish Rape Crisis Network says pornography is one of the biggest issues it is seeing today. Representatives from the organisation describe it as “massive” and a “growing” issue in Ireland currently.

Angela McCarthy, head of Dublin Rape Crisis Centre’s clinical department, says: “We are certainly, as experienced people, shocked by what we’re currently hearing.” This says a lot, given you would expect those who work for the Rape Crisis Network to have heard it all.

Angela describes the porn being used today as “shocking”, particularly “the life-threatening elements of it”. They say the scenarios their counsellors are hearing about don’t necessarily involve young people. This shocking element of porn is something the Rape Crisis Network says has come to its attention in just the past two to three years.

Ruth Butler, manager of Kilkenny Rape Crisis and Sexual Abuse Counselling Centre, says: “They’re saying the average age accessing porn is 11 and the average age starting a sexual relationships is 15 or 16.”

This means that young people are potentially watching porn for four years before they start having sex, and this of course is potentially influencing their view of sex.

The Rape Crisis Network says expectations are being brought into the bedroom from porn. Ruth says some young men in their 20s are unable to actually have a proper sexual relationship “because they’ve been so blunted by porn”. It seems that men are “de-stimulated” – a real woman just doesn’t do it for them any more.

Ruth relays a saying: “There is no rejection in porn.” As she explains: “The guy is never refused; the girl is always willing to do absolutely anything he wants – and if she’s not completely willing, a little bit of force will make sure …”

Porn is free, accessible and it’s not against the law. There are no borders with porn, you could be in Ireland and watching porn in America or Hong Kong.

When Irish Country Living proffers that porn has always been around, the Rape Crisis Network women all laugh, exclaiming: “There are no magazines any more.”

They say the porn nowadays is more hardcore and there are now even porn cartoons. Porn can be accessed very privately nowadays – not like years ago, when people had to go into a shop and try to look behind the magazines to find the porn section.

Cathy Connolly, executive director of Galway Rape Crisis Centre, says: “[Porn] dehumanises people. It dehumanises the whole act of making love or having a relationship, and I think the consequences aren’t even known. We’re seeing it all the time. It’s having a huge impact.”

Childhood Sexual Abuse

The biggest issue of all the Rape Crisis Network faces as an organisation is childhood sexual abuse, with some Rape Crisis Centres saying 70% of their clients come to the Rape Crisis Centre to deal with historical child sexual abuse.

A lot of people approach the Rape Crisis Network years after the abuse, and Ruth notes: “The sad thing is when they say: ‘Why didn’t I come earlier?’, when they finish counselling and realise the difference, and ask: ‘Why didn’t I do this sooner?’”

Ruth also remarks that sexual assault is “the only crime where the victim/survivor takes on all that guilt, all the shame, whether it’s a recent or a childhood rape”. CL

>> Get help

Angela McCarthy says: “We really want to stress it’s never too late for someone to come forward – and we will help them. We will pace it accordingly to what they need.” The Rape Crisis Network of Ireland – through its network of Rape Crisis Centres around the country – provides what they call a wrap-around service.

People can first of all make contact with any of the helplines for the individual centres. Then there’s the national 24-hour helpline, which is run from the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre. Once somebody makes contact with the national line, they will later be directed to their local Rape Crisis Centre. While all of the centres have helplines, they don’t all provide a 24-hour service.

The Rape Crisis Network makes the point that anyone can access any service, regardless of where they live. Ruth in the Kilkenny office says clients have travelled to her office from as far away as Wicklow because they don’t want to go to their local Rape Crisis Centre. For those who do go to their local centre, many of them have discreet entrances around the back.

The Rape Crisis Network also offers family support – for the parents or the siblings of a victim of rape, for example. While the victim is of course the priority, a Rape Crisis Centre would offer up to three support sessions for family members. These sessions are done with a different counsellor, so there’s no overlap in terms of confidentiality for the victim.

The national 24-hour helpline dealt with 11,789 calls last year. The line is manned day and night by a team of people who have been trained to listen. The Rape Crisis Network is keen to stress it provides a specialised service with trained counsellors. Cathy Connolly of the Galway Rape Crisis Centre says: “Rape crisis centres are very specific to this and very well trained for the trauma work that it involves.”

Angela says: “Sometimes people can’t really talk at the beginning, so you get silent calls.

“You get calls where somebody really can’t say very much, but that’s OK too.”

“That first phone call is massive,” says Ruth.

“It’s kind of facing the reality of what has happened,” agrees Angela.

Cathy concludes: “As someone said to us: ‘Well, I can use language, I can use the words – exactly what happened to me.’ They’re not only talking, but they’re talking bluntly about what happened and there aren’t a lot of places you can go to and do that. That’s why it’s so important that they come: because they’re heard.”

24-hour helpline:

1800 778888

Website:

www.rapecrisishelp.ie