The Dealer’s eyes opened wide this week when he saw a “six-star roan show calf” advertised in Ballyhaunis online.

Described as a real deal, full package, ready-made show champion, the heifer’s ICBF report was pictured alongside the declaration: “Her ICBF report shows she is the only six-star animal in the country. Some say it’s a typing error, some say it’s only a piece of manure, but as you can see clear as day, she is six stars.”

Adding to the heifer’s undoubted appeal was her colour and temperament – she is “as roan as a rusty nail and as docile as a house-trained duck”.

A remarkable temperament, given that her mother was as “wild as a bucket of minks, she has every stake and piece of wire in the place broke.”

The sale terms were straightforward – “Absolutely no offers below £3,750 cash.”