When New Yorker Pamela Druckerman moved to Paris with her English husband, they were surrounded by new things, people and ways of doing things. Even at home, things were changing with the arrival of their first baby, quickly followed by twins - there's nothing like adding little people to a new home to put you in a tail-spin.

Caring for one small child can be difficult, not to mention caring for three, but Pamela quickly noticed that her French peers weren't having the same difficulties as her.

French babies slept through the night from two months after which time they adapted to their parent's schedule, not the other way round. They didn't dictate when they ate, instead they simply ate at adult meal times, there was no cooking special children meals, and no children's menus in restaurants or nursery, rather they ate the sophisticated diet of their parents and they didn't throw their dinners about.

If this wasn't enough to be envious of, Pamela observed that Parisian mums were not exhausted all the time, they didn't wear baggy tracksuits and their chic clothes were not splattered with food, vomit and other unidentifiable substances. They looked as Parisian women tend to look – effortlessly chic.

Pamela didn't know exactly how they were managing it but as a journalist she was keen to find out, so she began her investigations.

French parents were not shouting at their children, or threatening them that they'd lose privileges, yet their children were quiet, calm and not throwing hissy-fits in the supermarket. It was as if they had their children under a spell - a good one of course.

Pamela began to interview French parents and experts. The fruits of her research can be found in her funny, self-deprecating and witty book about bringing up a baby.

One word kept coming up again and again in her 'research', it was the word 'wait'. The French do not do microwave convenience food, instead they prepare their meals from scratch and wait for them to cook. They don't throw a loaf of bread into their supermarket food trolly. They stand in line for their freshly made bread. This 'waiting' or lack of instant gratification starts as soon as they're born.

When a French baby cries in the night the parents may leave the baby alone for a time to self-soothe in hope it will go back to sleep, whereas our instinct might be to immediately dash into the room to cradle the baby, which apparently only assists in waking him/her up properly. Of course, that's not to say the French leave their babies cry - they don't - they just give them a reasonable time to get themselves back to sleep. The result is that French babies often sleep through the night from two months on.

This waiting, according to the French "is a first, crucial lesson in self-reliance and how to enjoy one's own company", essential life skills they believe which need to be taught from birth.

I think every mother has to find what works best for her, there’s no secret formula for success, but I’m certainly going to introduce the word ‘wait’ in to my home.

French Children Don't Throw Food, by Pamela Drunckerman. (Doubleday, RRP €17.85)

Trina Rea is a columnist, best selling author and TV producer. When she's not juggling jobs she's juggling her two sons, both of whom are under two years, and is woken most mornings to the eldest screaming 'Tractor! Tractor! Tractor!'. She lives in rural Tipperary.