Dealing with anxiety

One of the most common issues to arise in the life of any teenager, boy or girl, is anxiety. It affects us all at some stage in our lives and can be prompted by numerous triggers, such as stress of exams, a traumatic event, worrying about something that has yet to happen or simply being over-tired. Sometimes boys and girls can have unrealistic expectations of their goals or achievements and their responses will be determined by the level of their self-esteem.

Anxiety can present itself in a number of different ways. It can be experienced as a lump in the throat or butterflies in the stomach. The most common symptoms that I have seen in school are panic attacks and crying. It can be very debilitating and the student can often feel isolated, terrified and misunderstood.

When anxiety becomes prolonged, the panic attacks that arise can prevent participation in everyday life and activities. However, anxiety can be managed and dealt with.

In order to change our reactions to stress and anxiety, we need first to understand why it is present, to recognise how we are dealing with it and what changes we can make.

The time it takes to learn how to cope with anxiety will depend on its severity. In most cases, the student can work with the guidance counsellor to change their behaviour and thinking, and reduce the level of stress caused. However, there may be situations when the student would benefit from working specifically with a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist (CBT). Their aim is to help clients understand how negative thoughts and feelings can influence behaviour.

A list of therapists can be found on the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy website, at www.counsellingdirectory.ie. Only those individuals who are specifically trained should undertake to work with teenagers suffering from anxiety and stress.

It is not a condition that can be resolved overnight. It can range from mild anxiety to very severe anxiety and is often compounded by other underlying issues.

Possible signs of anxiety and stress to look out for:

Stress is a common factor in all our lives. It can occur when we have to make decisions, meet people, complete tasks, meet deadlines or do something new.

Children and young adults are still developing cognitively and as a result are not sufficiently developed to be able to process traumas and stress. Therefore, they tend to blame themselves for the consequences of it. A little stress is a good thing, a lot is not. When stress is prolonged we become anxious. We worry about “what ifs” and things that might never happen. We experience physical changes like sweating or nervous stomachs. We lack sleep and feel tired all the time. It can be exhausting.

As well as the physical symptoms of anxiety there are many different feelings associated with it:

Three key steps to regaining control over anxiety

1 Write it down: Write a list of what needs to be done, prioritise it and start TODAY. Start small and set realistic goals. Treating yourself when you complete a goal is very important. When a goal is achieved it builds confidence and encourages us to keep going. Cross it off the list and move on to the next. The physical act of writing helps to organise thoughts, which can appear less daunting in black and white.

2 Talk it out: When we put words on our anxieties they are often confused and exaggerated. Talking through each issue brings clarity and another persons’ perspective.

3 Change how you react to situations: If we think negatively, we react negatively. If we think positively, we react positively. Rebuild self-esteem through a series of manageable and comfortable goals each week.

Lucy McCullen is a guidance counsellor and the author of The Guided Way: A Counsellor’s Work with Young People, Seeking Solutions Together Through Writing and Listening, which is based on her experiences dealing with teenagers. The book is now on sale at Liam Ruiseal’s Cork, ABC Bookshop, Drogheda and Ardee Bookshop.

Tips for dealing with stress and anxiety

For parents

For teenagers