The Rules Of Love

In reply to “Would counselling help me find love?” here’s advice from a senior female town-dweller from a rural background. He has to ask himself the following questions and be able to answer “true” to all of them:

1 I will share equally all with a girlfriend.

2 I will truly love her and let her live her own life: for instance, work, socialise with her friends, nights out, etc.

3 If I fall in love with her, if she doesn’t want children or if we have daughters, it’s fine with me. I don’t need a son to run a farm. That’s a thing of the past, thank God.

4 Besides being decent, I am kind, not mean and would let my wife be a person in her own right. No bullying or control.

5 When I meet a girl I fancy, I will not jump in with both feet and tell her I’m over 40, have a farm and want a wife and kids. I will build up a relationship so we get to know one another, compromise, share, travel, have fun and take things slowly.

6 If I then meet the love of my life and she wants to make changes in my new house, I’ll discuss same with her and we will work things out together.

7 I have to be prepared to change my ways to accommodate the love of my life, not the other way around.

So, for “Hurt & Lonely Munster Farmer”, if you can answer “yes” to all of the above, I’ve counselled you.

Cheers, Anne

Waiting To Win The Relationship Lottery

Dear Miriam,

Just to concur with the letter in the 3 February edition from “Single Farmer”, I’m in a similar position and a similar age, as are many other males who live where I reside in rural Co Tyrone.

My experience is that young women depart from the countryside at school leaving age and go to the larger cities or across the water to get an education, then tend to stay there to pursue a career.

Considering that, on average, there are 105 males born to every 100 females in the general population, competition for girls is fierce at the best of times!

There are a multitude of single women on dating websites, but upon closer inspection they are almost all separated or divorced or single mums who have kids in their teens (or older) and are adamant they want no more children.

I’ve tried community groups like amateur dramatics and there are plenty of women involved there, but none of them are single.

Unless I win a relationship lottery, I have nothing to look forward to except a very lonely old age, but I’ll keep a cheery face on.

Sincerely,

Single Farmer

There are plenty of genuine women out there

Dear Miriam,

I wish to respond to a letter that was written in by a farmer about meeting “not so nice” women. I want to give him hope that there are still plenty of lovely and genuine women out there. For instance, out of eight of my friends, five are single and all are kind, genuine, from the countryside and looking for love. We count ourselves normal: enjoying socialising, having a dance, etc. I’m also one of these single girls looking for love.

I am 36, work in the healthcare profession, returning home most weekends to help out with errands. I have no airs or graces about farming life, and wonder will I ever meet a kind, good-humoured man either from the country or town.

Miriam, my proposition to you: I would like to go on a date with this gentleman if he is willing to go out on a date with me. I just want to show him there are still genuine nice women out there. I look forward to your response.

Leinster Reader CL