When I’m doing something I enjoy, I like doing it alone. My kids don’t really get that – they always want to “have a go”.
“Mammy, what are you doing?”
“Oh that looks like fun, can I try?”
“It’s my turn!”
Sometimes (OK, most of the time) I tell them no - they cannot “have a go”. If I’m weeding the garden, they will inevitably stomp all over my perennials.
It’s in their nature to make mistakes as they learn
If I’m baking, the cake batter will be overmixed and the kitchen will look like a flour bomb exploded. If I’m upcycling a piece of furniture, paint will end up all over the house.
It’s in their nature to make mistakes as they learn – that is, after all, the point of growing up. We learn as we go. And we continue to learn as adults (you’ll know this is true if you’ve seen any of my upcycling projects).
I imagine this is what it must feel like for parents who farm, and their children who will one day, with any luck, take over the family business.
Generational divide
My husband farms with his father, and they definitely have their share of disagreements. My husband has made some mistakes as he learns the ropes (while maintaining another full-time job, three small kids and a very demanding wife, I should add).
My father-in-law knows the farm inside out and backwards. He knows who to call for any job he can’t do himself. He knows how to repair his tractors and keep costs down. He comes from a generation who didn’t take holidays, lease cars, or get into massive amounts of debt.
I like and respect my father-in-law. He’s a good man
He often looks at us and shakes his head, commenting on the amount of money we spend on things. Or rolling his eyes if he sees my husband changing a nappy. Yes, there is definitely a generation gap there.
I like and respect my father-in-law. He’s a good man. He did what he needed to do to raise his family, he’s always worked hard and he’s a real gentleman.
I think he’s mostly proud of my husband – of what he’s accomplished and his career success – and partly worried about what my husband will do with the farm once it’s completely transferred over.
I don’t think this is a unique situation. Most farms have been passed down through generations, and it’s no secret that generations generally don’t “get” each other.
We can’t buy a house as easily or afford as many children unless we have support
As a millennial, I often feel resentment when I hear an older relative comment on how we don’t value things the same way and can’t seem to get our lives together.
The reality is, economic inflation has had a profound effect on millennials and younger generations. We can’t buy a house as easily or afford as many children unless we have support, even if we’re making a higher wage than our parents were at our age.
Living in the now
As for my husband? There are so many changes he would like to make to the farm, but he knows that most of these changes will have to wait until his father retires. Approaches to agriculture have transformed over the years.
The best practices of the 1970s are, in many ways, no longer considered best practice today. New technologies and scientific research have created opportunities that can benefit farmers, sustainability efforts and efficiency levels.
I guess when our kids grow up and take over, all we can do is hope we gave them the right tools for the job
That is not to take away from traditional methods that have always served us well – it’s to enhance them.
That said, whenever my kids try to “improve on things”, they usually end up leaving a big mess for me to clean. I wonder if that’s part of my father-in-law’s worry – after all, the farm has been his life’s work.
I guess when our kids grow up and take over, all we can do is hope we gave them the right tools for the job. And take a long, well-deserved holiday.
Read more
86% of farmers do not have clear succession plan in place
Succession series: communication tools in farm succession planning
Desperate Farmwife: living like royalty, almost
When I’m doing something I enjoy, I like doing it alone. My kids don’t really get that – they always want to “have a go”.
“Mammy, what are you doing?”
“Oh that looks like fun, can I try?”
“It’s my turn!”
Sometimes (OK, most of the time) I tell them no - they cannot “have a go”. If I’m weeding the garden, they will inevitably stomp all over my perennials.
It’s in their nature to make mistakes as they learn
If I’m baking, the cake batter will be overmixed and the kitchen will look like a flour bomb exploded. If I’m upcycling a piece of furniture, paint will end up all over the house.
It’s in their nature to make mistakes as they learn – that is, after all, the point of growing up. We learn as we go. And we continue to learn as adults (you’ll know this is true if you’ve seen any of my upcycling projects).
I imagine this is what it must feel like for parents who farm, and their children who will one day, with any luck, take over the family business.
Generational divide
My husband farms with his father, and they definitely have their share of disagreements. My husband has made some mistakes as he learns the ropes (while maintaining another full-time job, three small kids and a very demanding wife, I should add).
My father-in-law knows the farm inside out and backwards. He knows who to call for any job he can’t do himself. He knows how to repair his tractors and keep costs down. He comes from a generation who didn’t take holidays, lease cars, or get into massive amounts of debt.
I like and respect my father-in-law. He’s a good man
He often looks at us and shakes his head, commenting on the amount of money we spend on things. Or rolling his eyes if he sees my husband changing a nappy. Yes, there is definitely a generation gap there.
I like and respect my father-in-law. He’s a good man. He did what he needed to do to raise his family, he’s always worked hard and he’s a real gentleman.
I think he’s mostly proud of my husband – of what he’s accomplished and his career success – and partly worried about what my husband will do with the farm once it’s completely transferred over.
I don’t think this is a unique situation. Most farms have been passed down through generations, and it’s no secret that generations generally don’t “get” each other.
We can’t buy a house as easily or afford as many children unless we have support
As a millennial, I often feel resentment when I hear an older relative comment on how we don’t value things the same way and can’t seem to get our lives together.
The reality is, economic inflation has had a profound effect on millennials and younger generations. We can’t buy a house as easily or afford as many children unless we have support, even if we’re making a higher wage than our parents were at our age.
Living in the now
As for my husband? There are so many changes he would like to make to the farm, but he knows that most of these changes will have to wait until his father retires. Approaches to agriculture have transformed over the years.
The best practices of the 1970s are, in many ways, no longer considered best practice today. New technologies and scientific research have created opportunities that can benefit farmers, sustainability efforts and efficiency levels.
I guess when our kids grow up and take over, all we can do is hope we gave them the right tools for the job
That is not to take away from traditional methods that have always served us well – it’s to enhance them.
That said, whenever my kids try to “improve on things”, they usually end up leaving a big mess for me to clean. I wonder if that’s part of my father-in-law’s worry – after all, the farm has been his life’s work.
I guess when our kids grow up and take over, all we can do is hope we gave them the right tools for the job. And take a long, well-deserved holiday.
Read more
86% of farmers do not have clear succession plan in place
Succession series: communication tools in farm succession planning
Desperate Farmwife: living like royalty, almost
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