A few weeks ago, my daughter Julie told me that she was going to take a night away with her friend Lorna who has two little children. She asked if I’d mind Ricky. I implored her to be ready to go at 1pm on the day appointed and to give herself a chance to enjoy her time off. I suggested that she should pack her few bits in her travel bag the day before. “As if you ever did,” came the retort. So it was back to me. I had taught this young mother to feel guilty about taking a night off from her precious son.

We women are notorious for drawing guilt down on top of us

I remembered times when I was so tired having prepared the meals and left everything just so that the break was hardly worth the effort. Then I realised that my children looked forward to Dad’s suppers that came from the local chipper. It was actually disappointing if Mum had left good wholesome meals ready. As the years went by I learned to take my breaks and not to feel guilty about it. We women are notorious for drawing guilt down on top of us.

It is hard to prioritise yourself when you’re mithered trying to do the right thing for the young family, a growing business and the demands of family life.

There is a weight of responsibility on your shoulders and how you deal with it is really important. Pacing yourself, keeping perspective and getting enough rest are real challenges. When you master them; life becomes easier and the boxes get ticked.

There was one golden rule: she was not to be disturbed during that 15 minutes. We honoured it

My mother was a great believer in the power nap. She’d hop into the bed on coming from school and instruct us to call her in 15 minutes. There was one golden rule: she was not to be disturbed during that 15 minutes. We honoured it. Mam would return bright and chirpy to get on with making dinner, checking homework and generally organising our lives.

I’m starting to follow in her footsteps. Some days I need that 15-minute nap. It makes all the difference to my mood and my relationships are better as a result. Don’t be fooled by the men either! It’s many a power nap is stolen in the tractor, the loader, the jeep or just at the kitchen table.

Being Mammy is more important than any class or sporting fixture

We take no notice of it and yet we frown on ourselves having one. So if you need that nap; take it. It is hard to get this message across to young mums. They want to do everything to perfection and give their children every opportunity.

Being Mammy is more important than any class or sporting fixture. If you are exhausted from all the going then you need to pace yourself.

Ready on time

To my surprise Julie was ready on time and away she went. I kept her posted about Ricky’s exploits and she returned refreshed the next day.

That’s a few weeks ago now and as I write I am minding Ricky as Julie and her husband David are away overnight at Tony and Karen Dorgan’s wedding. Tony and Julie have been friends since their Coláiste Choilm school days. It was a lovely sunny day. Ricky is nine months old now. He loves presses and delights in emptying them. He has started cruising around the furniture. He has his little routines and goes for two naps in the day.

I sat him on the grass and watched while he dared to touch it. It didn’t take long before he was crawling around, loving the freedom of the outdoors

When he woke in the evening, I scooped him up and took him out in the lovely fresh air for a spot of gardening. I sat him on the grass and watched while he dared to touch it. It didn’t take long before he was crawling around, loving the freedom of the outdoors. Of course he wanted to eat plants. I gave him a chive with a flower head on top. His little fingers explored and pulled it apart. Then the remainder of it went straight into his mouth. As his four teeth pierced the chive, releasing its fresh juices; he grimaced and spat it out quickly. Poor Ricky, Granny has lots of tricks up her sleeve!

At 11.45pm, the phone rang. “Just checking how you are,” said Julie. I could hear David in the background: “She means how Ricky is!” We had a laugh and I’m sure Julie slept better, knowing her son was sleeping peacefully. Meanwhile, I must have seen that monitor 10 times during the night!