Family is everything and my husband Tim and I are lucky that our daughter, Julie and our sons, Diarmuid, Philip and Colm will be around over Christmas and the New Year.

Julie, Dave and Ricky will be in west Cork for Christmas Day with David’s family.

We had them last year so we can’t complain. Our daughter-in-law Aileen and Colm’s fiancé Elaine will also be coming and going. Hopefully COVID-19 restrictions will not interfere with family get-togethers. I don’t fret if we won’t all be in the room at the same time or on the important days.

I count my blessings and think of all my friends who have sons and daughters abroad and will be unable to see them this Christmas.

Try not to dwell too much on those loved ones that are away as it can make Christmas very difficult

New grandchildren are an amazing gift and if they are overseas and that first cuddle has not yet happened; take heart, it will materialise when you least expect it. Try not to dwell too much on those loved ones that are away as it can make Christmas very difficult. They are already lonely and that loneliness is intensified if they think you might not be coping so well. So chin up!

Health issues

This Christmas might be difficult because you are experiencing health issues that you never saw on the horizon and suddenly there were scans and a time of anxious waiting and then a diagnosis that has terrified you. Maybe you are one of the few suffering from long COVID or the after effects of a vaccination. Again, I advise you to take heart. The big shock is over. Yes, your life has changed. Gradually you will find your equilibrium with your new situation.

You must first accept your situation and then allow yourself to be happy again

As I’ve written many times in these pages; there are times when we must take one day at a time and if that is too much, take one hour at the time. This is really true when it comes to a diagnosis for your little baby. Your baby has been born with Down’s syndrome, your child had been found to be on the autistic spectrum or your child is just sick or confirmed with type 1 diabetes. Difficult times for young families. Life does go on and you will learn to cope.

Your mindset is important. You must first accept your situation and then allow yourself to be happy again and you will.

Ageing

The ageing of loved ones brings challenges and regrets. Every family wants to keep and care for their parents at home. It isn’t always possible. In certain situations, a nursing home is the only answer. These decisions are made with difficulty and the loss of the missing person around the Christmas table is hard. Talk about it, own your decisions but most of all, continue to love and support nursing home residents.

Acknowledgement of deceased loved ones is poignant around Christmas time. We remember, we cry, we reminisce. So many people have had to grieve privately during the pandemic. It is not the Irish way. Moving on in these times is hard. Remembering and browsing through photographs is therapeutic. You might cry but that’s not the end of the world.

Never think you are alone and if you can at all reach out to someone

All the scenarios that I’ve mentioned in this column are happening to our friends right now. They are private circumstances so I’m not using names and in any case every family has difficulties. Never think you are alone and if you can at all reach out to someone. Once you make the first move you will immediately feel better.

There have been new jobs secured, new opportunities taken, new babies born and illnesses overcome

Of course problems and difficulties don’t evaporate but we can learn to cope better. Maybe it’s an age thing? However, I can’t help but notice that challenges and complications have been dumped on so many of my friends, loved ones and extended family in the last few years. It is possible that the restrictions that this pandemic has visited on us has allowed us more time to think and the opportunity to dwell on the negative things affecting our friends.

Nevertheless, there have been new jobs secured, new opportunities taken, new babies born and illnesses overcome. People have come home and it is time to celebrate the joy of Christmas and just maybe we will get to hug a few friends. I wish all you colleagues and readers a truly wonderful, spiritual and peaceful Christmas. Thank you for reading and thank you for getting in touch. You always inspire me and keep me thinking. Merry Christmas.