I’m sure there are a lot of women like me who absolutely enjoy spending a day at home cleaning the house. It is important not to see house cleaning as a chore and to consider it a labour of love for the family and people who live there.

The same can apply to the farmyard. It is all about our attitude. We can see it all as chores and drudgery or we can be enthusiastic about the things we have to do.

The housework and chores need time and it must be done so it’s important to allocate the time for that work. Over the years I’ve been asked so many times: “Mam, are you busy? Or Kay can you give me 10 minutes in the yard?”

I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve answered: “No, I’m not busy. What do you need?”

Then the instructions are given and I find myself doing something for someone else when I have a large workload to get through myself. As we know, 10 minutes can turn into an hour very quickly. It took me a long time to realise that the reason that the men or the children didn’t value my housework, my grocery shopping, my ironing, my washing, my cleaning or my cooking was indeed my own fault.

Children must learn that the housework that mammy or daddy does takes time and effort

The answer to “are you busy?” could be nowadays a cheeky “hello”, which translates in young people’s language as: “Are you for real?” Instead, use the question to give a fuller answer.

“Yes, I am busy cleaning the house but I can make time for you.” If stopping what you’re doing is going to throw your day out completely or make you hugely stressed then suggest a time later on when you have completed the current task.

You are putting a value on your work and if you value your work and your time, then others will too. When it comes to children, there is an element of training about it.

Children must learn that the housework that mammy or daddy does takes time and effort. How will they know unless we tell them? If you say you are not busy then who’s to blame but yourself?

Share the load

Coming up to the busy time on farms, it is important for all members of the family to be on board and understanding what part they play in it all.

When our children were growing up, they had chores both inside and outside to do. There was a list up on the kitchen wall of who was to empty and fill the dishwasher, brush the floor, hang out and bring in the washing.

This removed the arguments with me over turns or accusations of being an unfair mother. Whoever was doing an exam was exempt from household duties. Only the other day, we were remembering those times.

It’s nice to sometimes be around when it’s all happening. You hear the phone calls and the chat. It’s the one drawback of going out to work that I dislike

One day Tim passed by the clotheslines and a pinging noise alerted him to investigate. Diarmuid was being super-efficient. He had discovered if you pulled hard enough on the clothes, the pegs would fly off and he’d get the job done faster. The pegs were lost in the bushes!

Changes afoot

I just had one of those mornings that I’d allocated to housework. So I was jobbing around. Tim and Colm were tick-tacking about the business. Philip was on the phone. Calving is almost upon us and preparations need to be made. Questions are being asked: “Will we continue to do things in the same way as we always have or will we do some things differently?” Questions and figures are being done about contract heifer rearing.

It would be a big change on our farm. I understand the theory and the figures but already I’m sad about the girls going off to another farm. I’m always consulted about decisions as part of the team.

But it’s nice to sometimes be around when it’s all happening. You hear the phone calls and the chat. It’s the one drawback of going out to work that I dislike.

I really miss being in the thick of the farm activity and its plans. Of course there are also those days when I’m glad to walk out that door too! Put a value on yourself and others will follow suit.