Have you ever seen someone who just takes it all in their stride no matter what they come up against? Do you think that they’re made of different stuff than you are?

That you could never be that calm or easy going? Do you ever think their life must be so stress-free? Well if this sounds in any way familiar to you, here are a few things to consider today.

No one in the whole wide world lives a stress-free life. In fact, a stress-free life would not be a particularly healthy way to live our lives as the body, brain and emotions need to be stressed in order to become stronger and build resilience.

Think about how muscles are made stronger – by training them, lifting weights, doing exercise and actually placing muscles, joints, ligaments, tendons and tissues under stress. It’s the same thing with our brain power.

Just think of all the brain fatigue we feel in order to get our mental arithmetic up to scratch or to prepare for exams or learn a new skill. So it follows that our emotional resilience is improved not by avoiding stressful situations altogether but by learning how to manage emotional stress and exertion.

Did you know?

Did you know we all have the same capacity to feel and be calm? Indeed, ease is our natural state as human beings.

We’re all born with a reservoir of calm within us but, of course, the external world we are born into is, in general, a frantically paced, busy, loud place to live and so quite quickly our sense of inner stillness and calm is drowned out by the external din as we get more aligned with doing rather than being.

The people you might observe seemingly floating through their lives in a carefree fashion are not people who live a stress-free life but rather people who have reacquainted themselves with the soothing nature of their inner worlds.

So how can we learn to support ourselves in tapping into our inner resolve and calmness? Well, by giving ourselves time.

“But I don’t have any time,” I hear you say. So let’s start with our physical exercise this month.

Physical exercise

This week the action is to put the phone/screen in one room or place in your home and then walk yourself into a different room in order to prioritise checking in with yourself over checking in with your social media. This brings us nicely to our mindfulness exercise.

Mindfulness exercise

Find a quiet spot. This can even be in the carpark outside of the shops or work – you know, the usual places you find yourself pausing to check your phone.

Instead of looking at the phone, close your eyes and watch your breath. In particular, focus on the pause between your inhale and your exhale. That’s a natural still, quiet, calm space that is with you all the time.

To give a little direction to our busy minds, we’ll count as we breathe, so we’ll inhale for the count of four, hold for the count of four, exhale for the count of four and hold for the count of four.

If you could give the most amount of your attention to the stillness when you hold your breath, you’ll find that you feel and absorb that inner calmness more. I’d recommend trying this practice for anywhere between five and 10 breaths but allow yourself to be your own guide.

From my own experience, it is on the days you find it hardest to sit with the stillness that you need it the most. So please be patient with yourself and persevere. You won’t regret the effort.

Something to Ponder

What we give our attention to becomes our experience, so the first step in changing the way you experience your life is to really choose what it is you give your attention to.

Choose something that is nourishing and supportive for you as a whole. Skip that Facebook check in and choose instead to check in with your inner calm…it’s definitely there! You just haven’t felt it in a while because you haven’t looked for it.