GETTING STARTED:

The Hairy Questions

What is it about Irish women, feeling obliged to dye their hair as soon as the first grey strands appear? Is going G. R. E. Y. taboo, while enslavement to hairdressers and home dye kits for decades is considered acceptable?

I too fell under the illusion that it was normal. Expected even. Another chore we women had to endure. Up there with doing the washing-up and replacing the empty roll of toilet paper.

Was it vanity or a desire to dam up the aging process by hoodwinking myself and those around me into believing that I hadn’t as many years up on the clock? Was it that I loved my muddy brown hair colour?

I became fed up with the treadmill of constantly dying my hair. Special occasions/holidays that had to coincide with tinting appointments. Unable to wear up-styles in case my silvers peeped through. Obliged to hide the “skunk line” lest it caught the eye of my extended family, my workmates or offended the public at large.

Boasting an age the rock chick side of 54, I have camouflaged my natural hair colour for the past two decades. It is January now and I am four weeks into a journey of discovery. The destination will be the revelation of my natural hair colour.

I’ve decided to embrace the hair Mother Nature gave me while I am fit and have my faculties. I plan to make the most of it.

My reflection in the mirror greets me with a streak of silver (skunk line) along my parting and temples. I’m not comfortable using the G.R.E.Y. word yet. It has too many of society’s connotations still. Fifty shades there may well be. But yer man with the dulcet northern accent can keep them. Remember, I’m upholding the aforementioned rock chick status!

Tinting doesn’t come cheap. Endeavouring to postpone the inevitable expense of a hairdresser’s appointment, my temporary DIY methods have included:

  • • Dabbing a black mascara wand along the front temples and parting.
  • • Wetting a little brown crayon. Not my child’s Twistables; we’re talking Roux ‘Tween Time, which hides a multitude of sins and one crayon seems to last a lifetime.
  • Lately, I came across L’Oréal’s Magic Retouch spray “temporary coverage until shampooed out”. It did exactly what it said on the tin. But there isn’t much in a tin.

    To relinquish one persona in favour of a real-time one, I sought a morale boost online – Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook being favourite haunts of mine. A few hashtags later, I was joining closed groups on Facebook and following Pinterest boards. There is a wealth of encouragement and motivation by other women embracing their silvers. Thankfully I haven’t looked back.

    Spurred on with regular notifications and likes – lest I should falter or doubt my decision to stop dying my hair – the histories and photos shared offer a nicotine patch as it were, making this journey a lot less lonely and so much easier.

    MIDWAY: Silver at the

    end of the rainbow

    Openness was the best policy regarding my intention to embrace my silver hair, by telling family, friends and work colleagues straight out.

    To date, I’ve heard nothing negative said (to my face). I get the odd remark: “Oh my sister did that”. I attempt to drum up enthusiasm for this decision, even to the point of encouraging others to join me on the road trip of discovery.

    “I am not brave enough,” is one particular remark I am hearing repeated. Brave! Have I thrown my leg over the ropes or kicked the cage door shut behind me and challenged Conor McGregor to go two rounds?

    Am I overlooking whatever it is others say they are afraid of? Have I given enough consideration to the long-term consequences? Do I actually worry about the opinions of others? Will I love the end result or, more importantly, will I have the stamina for those inevitable awkward grow-out stages? Do I possess that elusive courage or will I bale half way and revert to number six, shade of brown hair dye.

    A sprightly 68-year-old confided that she had wanted to stop tinting her hair many years previously.

    “What stopped you then?” I inquired. She said her husband wouldn’t allow her. At what point in a relationship do otherwise strong women make the men guardians of their hair? Men whose own crowning glories, by the way, have gracefully gone from salt and pepper to grey to white. Even gone bald. Is a man’s ego affected by the fact that the lady on his arm has grey hair?

    (#youreonlyasoldasthewomenyoufeel)

    While George Clooney, Tom Jones, and our own Des Bishop are rocking the distinguished silver fox image, how many silver-haired ladies are there in public life? (Besides the IMF’s Christine Laguard; her stunning silver haircut is a particular favourite.)

    It is currently eight weeks since I dyed my hair.

    Though, before facing into my workplace within the agri sector, I am still spraying the skunk line of my parting in light brown L’Oreal’s Magic Retouch. That stays on until it’s washed out.

    At weekends I’m free to experiment with my new silver-coloured tresses. I might pin it back so that my face is surrounded in a crown of new growth. The most amazing thing happened the first time I did this. All I could see was the silver hair and my whole complexion changed right in front of the mirror. Changed for the better. As I age, my natural skin tone changes too and the lighter hair complements it naturally, whereas the dyed colour left it drained.

    This new silver growth of two inches is a positive. Growing in the right direction for the first time. Before deciding to ditch the dye, any new growth was a negative: I hated seeing it coming through.

    FINALLY: D Day

    It has been 10 weeks since I last dyed. (Reminds me of “Bless me father, it’s been 10 weeks since my last confession.”)

    I can attest that tinting and highlights don’t come cheap. Having built up loyalty to the same salon and stylist, I reckon I forked out the price of a good second-hand motorcar over the years, not to mention what I spent in other establishments and on the home dye kits and rinses.

    I consider my colourist a friend whose expert opinion I value. What a bonus though when she took me at my word and realised I was in earnest this time. I marched into the Mullingar salon and announced to her that I wanted to stop colouring my hair and go au natural – to discover if I was silver/grey/ salt and pepper/ white or some of all. She loves the idea and is full of encouragement and suggestions.

    I took two consultations in Mullingar and one spur-of-the-moment drop-in consultation with a colourist in Liffey Valley Shopping Centre, who said I was the third client that week looking to go grey.

    At least I know we were all singing off the same hymn sheet. Neither would or could wave a magic wand and change my brown locks to silver instantly. Both were glad that I understood this journey could take up to a year if I wanted jaw length hair. The customer is always right (as long as she has patience). My head is currently a work in progress.

    Arriving prepared, my homework done, swiping the screen on my phone, I showed off pictures of how I envisaged the end result would look and some shots of the mid-way process, with images I’d saved from Pinterest and from the Facebook group.

    There is a movement out there for those ditching the dye. All age groups. Some wishing they’d stopped dying years earlier when they see how beautiful their natural colour is and how it suits them. Others offering morale-boosting tips and selfies. To quote Pam in Pennsylvania, if another woman remarks to you: “You should get your roots retouched, honey.” Your reply is: “Silver is the new black, it’s on Pinterest. Look it up”.

    What I learned online was how I could make the transition from dark brown to silver as seamless as possible. My colourist concurred when I inquired about putting in toner and ash highlights (appearing knowledgeable is always a bonus) to lighten the old brown hair, without touching the new silver growth.

    I made my appointment. D day had arrived. I was very excited. Afterwards I shared a selfie with #goinggreyguide on Facebook. The proof I needed that I had made the correct decision came in the form of 40 likes and several positive comments.

    Onwards and upwards….. CL