I see Teagasc has galvanised into COVID-19 action this week, with the launch of a new telephone helpline for farmers.

I’m told the action was initiated by a call from the Teagasc chair Liam Herlihy asking what Teagasc was doing in the national effort. Senior management sent the message to county managers and specialist division, who relayed it on to the front line. Some on the front line rebelled, pointing out their nitrate derogations, TAMS grants, BPS and other schemes workload. However, a placating email from HQ thanking everyone for their efforts poured oil on troubled waters. The new phone line is open from 9.30am to 12.30pm and 2pm to 5pm. Nice civil working hours.

Wagyu beef tsunami

While Irish farmers are facing poor beef prices, spare a thought for the poor Japanese beef farmer. The Asian country is faced with a tsunami of uneaten Wagyu beef as people prefer to stay at home. In better times, a sought after steak could fetch up to €122. As cold storage units fill one operator suggested providing the public with Wagyu vouchers to help eat through the excess as prices tumble by up to 40%. The Dealer is also happy to volunteer his services to eat through the deluge.

Kildalton to kick off building work

The Dealer was interested to see that the pandemic hasn’t slowed down plans at Kildalton Agricultural College.

It has put a tender out for a project that consists of a machinery storage shed, incorporating a rainwater harvesting system, a hay storage shed, calf housing; three silage pits, a wash down area, extensive concrete aprons and extensive drainage systems.

The Dealer feels dizzy just looking at the list.

Interested parties have until the 27 April to get their tender in.

IFA’s Ryan moves to Glanbia

I hear Thomas Ryan is leaving the IFA for pastures new after 15 years.

The IFA had withdrawn from social partnership following the introduction of the initial divisive nitrates regulations when Ryan became environment executive. The IFA has worked with the Department and Teagasc to ensure the regulations evolved significantly since.

Ryan was also programme director of the progressive Smart Farming initiative.

He’s now heading to Glanbia. Just don’t expect to see the Tipperary man in an Avonmore Kilkenny shirt anytime soon.

Hereford win for rugby ref

The Dealer was delighted to see International rugby ref-turned-farmer, Nigel Owens, officially become a suckler farmer as his first calf hit the ground.

The Welshman bought a pedigree Hereford heifer, dubbed Hannah, who gave birth to her first calf last week.

Nigel took to Twitter before the birth, saying: “There’s only two times I’ve been nervous in my life, one was refereeing the World Cup Final and the other one was coming out all those years ago.

“But I don’t think I’ve been as nervous as today, because today down on the farm, I’m expecting the first calf to be born since I set up the Mairwen herd. I’ve never been so nervous in my life. God, I’m glad I can’t give birth.”

International rugby referee-turned farmer Nigel Owens.

Lakeland bosses take pay cut

I’m told Lakeland’s management, led by Michael Hanley, have informed the co-op board that they will take a round of pay cuts as the COVID-19 crisis deepens.

Global dairy markets are in turmoil with food service, in particular, bearing the brunt of the COVID-19 fallout.

Airlines and restaurants

Lakeland has a large food service division which services companies such as McDonald’s, as well as a host of airlines and restaurants that are not operating.

The Dealer understands the largest part of Lakeland’s business, food ingredients, is performing OK in the face of challenging conditions.

The Dealer contacted Lakeland but was told such matters are private and reserved for management and the board. Lakeland will set a milk price today (Thursday) for March milk.

Gardaí caught on the hoof

The Dealer had a lame bull recently and had to call the hoofman.

The hoofman in question has a very snazzy, hydraulic crate to lift animals on their side to pare their feet but, while farmers might recognise the contraption, it seems An Garda Síochána does not.

The poor hoofman had been stopped twice by gardaí on his way to the farm who questioned his “essential” business status. The hoofmen of the country might have to consider including a picture explanation with their essential letter.