I go to mass on Sundays. Not every Sunday. In fact, I have probably missed more Sundays this year than I have been at. It has always been the way with me. Not a common trend among my peers. I remember when I worked in local radio, I would finish the sports show at 5pm on a Saturday in the studio in Longford and then the routine was that I would be back in Castleknock for 7pm mass. Me in my 20s doing this. I’d stand at the back, arms folded, going through the motions. Never a fanatic or anything, just doing it because I felt I needed to. I wanted to. I got solace from.

Do I believe in God? Good question. Isn’t this what going to mass is all about? Why pray and answer the priest when, in reality, it is so hard to actually believe logically and scientifically that there is a higher being? And, as for the idea of an afterlife! To be honest, I just don’t understand how it’s possible.

I think there is a touch of an atheist in us all. Certainly we should all be described as agnostic. Because nobody knows, including atheists. The Pope and Richard Dawkins could have the mother of all debates and neither of them, at the end of the day, can say they know for sure whether there is such a thing as heaven or God.

So why go to mass? Well, call me silly if you are a non-believer, but I just feel somewhat purer as a result of putting by 40 minutes of a Sunday morning when I can stand at the back of the chapel and be part of the process. Of course, I am a total hypocrite. I sin like us all and don’t follow Jesus the way the priest says he would like us to. Most Sundays after communion, I sneak out before the rest of the congregation like the fella who leaves the match before the final whistle to get ahead of the traffic!

I think I am not alone. Yes, there are strong believers of a strong faith who believe in the word of God and go to mass obviously as a result. But I think for most of my generation who bother to go, it’s more of a routine or to feel good rather than feeling an obligation to go. I am sorry to the pious among you if this is offensive but I suppose it is a selfish “have your cake and eat it” attitude I have. I go purely to make myself feel that bit better that I have bothered rather than in worship of a God I simply have no idea exists or not. So I could be accused of using the Catholic Church for my own selfish means. Yes, probably.

But I do walk out of mass on Sunday feeling that I have done something right, for myself. There is so much wrong about the Catholic Church and organised religion and the grief and terror it brings to our world. No doubt. But people like me who get something calming and purifying out of going to mass, even if we have our doubts and disagreements with some of the backward teachings of the church, should not be vilified or laughed at by association from the likes of Richard Dawkins and company even if we do come across as hypocrites. CL

Best joke of 2017

I love silly jokes. And this is my favourite from 2017: They say that an onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry?

Well, did you ever get a whack of a turnip?”

I’ll get my coat!

Happy New Year!