My mother passed away in 2007 and a few years later I lost my father. Both times, my upset was inconsolable. In my experience, grief emulates a terrible illness.

I wasn’t bed-bound due to any physical condition, yet in the early weeks of grieving I was incapable of much more than washing and dressing myself. I was feeling physically sick, physically weak and the intensity of the pain in the pit of my stomach was very real. In the weeks after losing a loved one, grief is all-consuming, but months or even years after it can raise its head and hit like a bolt into the stomach.

When words fail to comfort, our support is often shown through actions.

After my mother passed away, I was so nauseated with sadness that even nibbles of toast and bites of sandwiches were a struggle to consume.

However, a kind neighbour arrived at my mother’s wake with a large tray filled with a creamy chicken bake.

As much as I fought the urge to fulfil the basic human need of eating, I accepted a plateful of this chicken dish and I remember vividly how it warmed my empty stomach and quenched the hunger pains I hadn’t even acknowledged were there.

At times of sadness most of us have little or no interest in food, yet it is never more important that we eat well as a means to keep up our physical strength.

A nourishing bowl of food won’t ease the heartache of grief, but it will give a much-needed energy boost to the body.

Rest and sleep is vital while we grieve. Fuelling our body with nourishing, comforting foods can help, as can keeping well hydrated.

Talking and reminiscing about our loved one is ever so important.

Writing down memories, which may be a painful exercise, can turn into a rewarding process, and, most of all, accepting the support of loved ones in helping to provide a little bit of light and love into the darkness of our grief.

Wholemeal ginger cookies. \ Nessa Robins

Wholemeal ginger cookies

225g wholemeal flour

1 tsp baking powder

2 tsp ground ginger

1 tsp ground cinnamon

110g butter, soft

75g soft brown sugar

2 tbsp golden syrup

1 small egg

1 tbsp caster sugar

  • 1 Pre-heat the oven to 180°C (fan 160°C/gas mark four). Line a large baking tray with parchment paper.
  • 2 Add the flour to a bowl and sieve in the baking powder, ginger and cinnamon.
  • 3 In a mixing bowl, cream the butter, sugar and golden syrup together for five minutes, until light and fluffy. Add the egg and mix to combine.
  • 4 Fold in the dry ingredients and beat for one more minute until a ball of dough is formed.
  • 5 Place the caster sugar on a saucer. Take a spoonful, about the size of a soup spoon, from the bowl of dough and using the palm of your hands roll into a small ball. Gently roll in the caster sugar and place on the prepared baking tray. Leave a little room between each cookie as they do expand a little during baking. With a fork, gently press down on the top of each cookie. Repeat with the remaining dough, to make approximately 12 cookies.
  • 6 Bake in the preheated oven for 18-20 minutes, depending on the size, until golden. Allow to cool for a few minutes on the baking tray before transferring to a wire rack. Once completely cooled, store in an airtight container for up to three days.

    • Comforting chicken stew with herbed dumplings. \ Nessa Robins

    Comforting chicken stew with herbed dumplings

    1 tbsp olive oil

    180g streaky bacon, roughly chopped

    3 carrots, finely diced

    2 onions, finely diced

    2 celery sticks, finely diced

    200g mushrooms, cut into quarters

    Freshly ground pepper

    2 sprigs thyme

    2 bay leaves

    1.2 litres hot chicken stock

    2tbsp tomato purée

    4-5 chicken fillets, cut in half

    For the dumplings:

    250g self-raising flour

    Salt and freshly ground pepper

    1 tbsp parsley, finely chopped

    1 tbsp chives, finely chopped

    125g butter, cold-straight from the fridge

    1 tbsp cold water

  • 1 Preheat the oven to 200°C (fan 180°C/gas mark six).
  • 2 Add the oil to a large, oven-proof saucepan or casserole dish. Place over a high heat. Add the streaky bacon and cook for five minutes, stirring regularly.
  • 3 Turn down the heat and add the carrot, celery, onion and mushrooms. Season with a little black pepper. Cook for five minutes until slightly golden, then add the herbs, chicken stock and tomato purée.
  • 4 Bring to a simmer and add the chicken. Cover with a lid and place in the oven for 45 minutes.
  • 5 Meanwhile, make the dumplings by placing the flour in a mixing bowl. Season with a little salt and pepper, and add the herbs. Finely chop or grate in the cold butter. Gently rub in the butter until it resembles breadcrumbs. Add 1 tbsp of cold water and bring the dough together to form a ball. If it’s not sticking together, add a little more cold water. Divide the dough into 12-15 pieces and roll each one into a ball.
  • 6 Take the stew from the oven and nestle the dumplings on top of the cooked stew, pushing each one down into the stew so that it is halfway submerged. Place the lid back on the dish/saucepan and return to the oven for an additional 30 minutes. At this time, take off the lid and return to the oven for an additional 10 minutes.
  • 7 When ready to serve, lift the dumplings out and place in serving bowls. Stir the stew and then ladle it over the dumplings. Serve with mashed potato and peas.

    • Read more

    Home Nurse: recipes for a happy heart

    Nessa Robins' guilt-free festive desserts