The army is the last line of defence in all sorts of emergencies, from Kerry being over-run by rhododendron to seagulls intimidating members of the Seanad.

Now the Dealer hears the Department of Agriculture’s laboratory management has enlisted the help of the Department of Defence to show how it went about closing barracks where a few soldiers refused to desert their posts. Lab management has promised no live rounds will be used in the demonstration but that hasn’t stopped RVL staff looking for body armour before they agree to attend.

The next step in the consultation process will involve laboratory management making a tour of North Korea to study assertive management techniques.