The Central African jungle has thrown lots of challenges my way since I moved here last June. There have been charging elephants, venomous snakes and sometimes even over-amorous village men to contend with. But none of these have been nearly as testing as the insects I’ve encountered.

They are literally everywhere – in the lining of my backpack, in my water bottle, crawling around in my hair. Even as I write this piece I can see the little bodies of ants as they scurry about underneath my keyboard (I kid you not!). It’s an insect-lover’s paradise. Unfortunately for me though I hate the little buggers.

Every time I leave the house I’m greeted by a bloodthirsty mob of mosquitos. If I don’t move fast enough then I quickly become a sort of human pincushion. I take anti-malarial tablets, of course, but they do nothing for the itchy bumps that I’m left scratching for hours afterwards. Before I go to sleep at night I carry out a mosquito-massacre in my room, swatting everything that moves, which has now become as routine as brushing my teeth. I used to sleep under a net, but after a few nights of waking up tangled in the thing like a freshly landed fish, I decided to get rid of it.

Worse still are the ants. Individually they are harmless but as a colony they form a super-organism with the destructive power of a bulldozer. Just ask my fellow researcher Ruby. Once, when she was camping deep in the jungle, a sea of Driver Ants descended on her camp. They swept over her tent “like a wave” until the entire outside of it was covered in a thick, black layer. They gnawed their way through the lining of her tent and proceeded to engulf her body, biting into her skin with their powerful mandibles. She spent the rest of the night squishing them all one-by-one. Although I’ve never had quite such an awful experience I’ve been bitten many, many times and it really hurts!

And then there are the relatively harmless but incredibly irritating sweat bees. As their name would suggest, these little critters are attracted to sweat and thus can’t get enough of me in this equatorial heat. They crawl over my skin in a mad frenzy as I try to swat them off, which just makes me sweat more, which then attracts more bees. It’s a hopeless situation! Eventually I’m left with little choice but to just give up and let them feast on me.

But not all of the insects are awful. In fact, some look as if they’ve just crawled off the pages of a science fiction novel and need to be seen to be believed.

Take for example the praying mantis (pictured above). Even I must admit it’s a beautiful creature with its bionic-like limbs and big, purple eyes. I once watched as one nibbled away on another insect with such delicacy that I almost expected him to whip out a napkin and dab off his mouthparts when he was done.

The butterflies are also exceptionally beautiful. Some are tiny, dainty little things while others are as large as my hand. They come in an endless variety of colours, each combination more exquisite than the next, making their Irish relatives look pale in comparison.

I’ve seen Rhinoceros Beetles patrol the undergrowth like miniature Sherman tanks and I’ve dodged grasshoppers, the size of small birds, as they’ve leapt between trees. Yet, magnificent and all as may be, I don’t want them in my tent. They’re the type of creatures that would give our bugs at home the creeps.

So basically, there is no avoiding insects in Africa. The jungle is literally crawling with them. They are the true rulers of this realm, whether I like it or not, and no amount of insect repellent will change that. Trust me, I’ve tried!