This time of year, when the grass growth is slowing and we still have some fields shut up for third-cut, grazing becomes a bit stretched.

So much so, that in spite of having three mains fencers on 150ac, cattle start escaping. (Our chief helper, Steve, calls this Freedom Farm).

The other end of the table was not at all amused when this sight greeted her at breakfast. Her garden is her pride and joy.

This was a mixed bunch of heifers and not yet big enough to bull. Unfortunately, the variation in size made the biggest look bigger than they actually were, so my wife started planning estrumating them for a late spring calving next year.

After a bit of debate which was in no way cool (speak for yourself), my wife said she would do the nipple test during the next day’s TT test, and let the vet adjudicate.

The test

The nipple test originated at the Bath and West Agricultural Show three years ago.

A group of us farmers were debating how old and high heifers should be at mating. Finally my wife declared “They should be this high”, holding her hand against her chest.

“You mean nipple high,” one quipped. Amid much laughter, another said “bra on or bra off?”

“It would make no difference!” my wife responded.

The highest-yielding cow we ever had calved at one year nine months

The problem is that we always disagree on the size that heifers should be for bulling. My wife keeps quoting “the highest-yielding cow we ever had calved at one year nine months”.

I reply: “That’s because she was a voracious eater and grew well.”

And so the debate goes on.

Showtime

Talking of shows, we attended the Royal Welsh again this year, and it’s fantastic to see the vibrancy of the Welsh agricultural youth. They have their own enormous car park and an enormous marquee for an all-night party (although they don’t look very vibrant as they crawl out of their sleeping bags next morning.)

Such is the reputation of the party that young farmers attend from all over Wales and England.

The favourite trick is to buy an old caravan just for the week, although I can’t see the advantage of a caravan over a tent.

This is a cow that weighs over a tonne

A friend of mine told me his son travelled 50 miles to purchase a caravan for £30.

He was undeterred that the vehicle had been stripped internally, not realising that the furniture provided the internal support.

By the time he got home, he had a flat pack caravan on two wheels!

At the show itself it was good to see that wonderful show-stopper Castellhyfryd Spirte Rosina again, although she only came second this time in her sixth lactation.

This is a cow that weighs over a tonne.

She achieved 20,000 litres in her fourth lactation, and her lifetime yield to date is over 108,000 litres. I suggested to my master breeding partner that we should use a bull from her, only to be unkindly told that it would be like putting a thoroughbred on a Shetland pony.

New Zealand semen

Instead we acquired some New Zealand semen from the LIC stand with a very good initial offer. I was admiring the shedding (drafting) gate and was told they have become so popular in New Zealand that when a herdsman applies for a job, the first question is often: “And do you have auto-shedding?”

Strangely, for a company supplying a home industry based on simplicity, they had a device which gave an individual cell count 20 seconds after clusters were attached.

Highlight of the show

The highlight of the show was a young man called Lorenzo who galloped into the ring stood on two Portuguese horses without saddle or bridle. One wondered what would happen if they drifted apart. He then galloped round the arena stood on the two middle horses with six each side in a perfect line abreast, and none of these had saddles or bridles. He then proceeded to take all 14 over a jump while maintaining the line.

He next parked the 12 horses and proceeded to ride stood up (with no saddle or bridle) over a small jump and then the horses went under a high rail which he himself jumped, landing on the horses’ backs as they galloped along.

A great feat of athleticism and horsemanship. You may not believe it, and I wouldn’t if I hadn’t seen it.

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