It was the Easter holiday and I was filling the sprayer when Mrs P tapped me on the shoulder. Startled, I spun around as she’s seldom out in the yard – in the garden, yes, but hardly ever the yard – so someone must have died or so I thought.

“Alison’s all choked up with the rape pollen and she needs to get away so we’re heading off to Kildare Village.”

Now, for the uninitiated, shopping in Kildare Village is not exactly like shopping in Kildalkey village where you’d be hard pushed to spend more than €10.

Oh no, Kildare village is actually an upmarket shopping experience with very exclusive high-end shops like Gucci and Prada. But, personally, I’d be much more comfortable in Kildalkey village.

Now, it did occur to me that the pollen was only an excuse and there’d be much cheaper places to spend the day away, but that would be mean-spirited. Besides, one field of rape is so close to the house that we might as well be sleeping in it. The pollen count on a sunny day is off the Richter scale and I’m not very popular around here.

Last year, I had rape in Tulnagee, that’s the field that runs down to the housing estates in the village, and I couldn’t go near the place on a sunny evening as there’s every chance a wheezy blow-in would fire a beer can at me for destroying his barbecue.

The natives are well used to rape pollen and pig slurry and muddy roads and all the other delights of country living.

So I cordially nodded to Mrs P and poured another five-litre can of Ascra Xpro into the sprayer and said nothing. Bayer’s new fungicide Ascra Xpro is the Yves Saint Laurent of wheat fungicides and, in typical Bayer fashion, is exclusive, expensive and usually in short supply.

But you know what? Mrs P was unlikely to spend more than the cost of one can of Ascra and there was another 30 of them in the chemical store.

Anyhow back to the spraying. It’s very much the time of the year when every tillage farmer watches the weather almost as closely as the ladies in Met Éireann.

And it’s not only the weather in Kildalkey or Kildare but we’re like the Skibbereen Eagle and watching Russia and suchlike places for weather factors that may have an effect on the sluggish grain market. There’s little at the moment to excite the market

Despite high base levels of septoria, the cool dry weather has prevented any escalation. The T1 sprays on the wheat went on early in the last week of April and three weeks hence should see flag leaves emerged for the T2.

Farmyard manure

This time last year we imported about 400t of good farmyard manure from a neighbour. This cost us €2,100 to haul, heap and spread which, when spread over 40 acres, equates to a cost of €52/acre. But I think it’s worthwhile and we’re doing the same again this year.

We also take in some pig slurry but it’s purely a liquid fertiliser source and does nothing for building soil organic matter levels.

I part-exchange straw for the muck, which works well. I’d like to take more but it’s important to identify a good source which is free from dead bodies, plastics, concrete blocks and car tyres.

You’d be amazed as to what you could find in a shed full of muck but, despite what they say, the last thing you’d find is money.