There I was, busy getting ready for our Women & Agriculture Conference, when this letter arrived in the post. Like Mary’s letter earlier this year, it struck a chord with me. When you marry and move to a different part of the country, get a farm paid for and developed, then educate children, there’s not a lot of time or spare money for a social life. So how do you break into the circle? It’s a lot harder said than done and the temptation is just to put on a fire and settle into another night in front of the television. This woman would love to be part of a circle or a group that might have a couple of days out each year and maybe a meeting once or twice a month. There’s no ICA in her area and her children are grown up. As ever, I throw this dilemma open to you, our readers, and all advice or suggestions are welcome.

Dear Mairead,

I have read numerous articles about isolation and loneliness in rural Ireland. I never thought I would be in that boat.

I live on a farm with my husband. We have a very good relationship and get along great. Our four children have all left home and are working. They are very good to us and would be shocked to read this.

We have struggled financially for the past 25 years, with my part-time job keeping our heads above water. Our four children all went to college, got good educations and all have very good jobs. Every penny went into their education, and because of this we didn’t have an active social life.

Where I live, there are a number of groups doing different things which I would like to be part of. I have tried, but they are a circle which you join when asked by one of the members. Most of these would be people with interests similar to myself. I joined the IFA hoping it would get me mixing with these ladies/groups, but apart from small talk at meetings, that was it. My own family live in a different part of the country. I keep in contact, but I am too far away for just calling in or doing things together. A recent family bereavement really opened my eyes as to who really cares.

I know I will get by, but I feel life is short and I would love to be part of some group outside the house. I am an outgoing person and would have been involved in Macra and other organisations in my younger years. I think moving to live in a different part of the country is a big step, particularly to live on a farm. I love the farming way of life, but it’s the isolation that gets to me. I know my husband feels the same at times. We will continue to struggle on our low income and live within our means. I’m sure I am not alone in this. I would ask some of the farm women to look around and see that there are other ladies on farms in their areas who would love to be part of the circle.

I am sorry I cannot sign this, as I would be too embarrassed.

Kate

(Not in the circle)