Dear Miriam,

I would like your advice about photos on Facebook. I am slow to allow my child to join the local GAA football club because of this. They put up a lot of profile and team photos, more than the other clubs I have checked. I would have to sign the consent form to allow the photos on their web page – not signing would mean, I think, the child’s exclusion and as I live close to a small town this would give the gossips more to talk and sneer about. The child doesn’t have a great social life (outside of family) and would be an average footballer. I have tried other sports avenues but these haven’t worked out.

Parents don’t seem to have a problem with the exposure – am I just not up to date? I would welcome your advice.

Also, what age would you allow your child to go on Snapchat etc? I am also struggling to get to grips with this problem.

Yours, Confused.

PS I love your column – keep it up!

Dear Confused,

Thank you for your letter and I certainly appreciate your concerns. You don’t go into detail on your worries regarding having the pictures online, but I would assume that you fear they may be misappropriated in some way.

It seems that your child would really benefit from being involved in the GAA club in terms of making new friends, getting active etc, so I wonder is there a compromise that could be reached? For example, would you be more comfortable if your child appeared in team photos as part of a larger group, rather than in individual/profile images? Maybe have a chat in confidence with the person who looks after the social media for the club and just ask what is possible in this regard.

As regards Snapchat, I’ll admit that I don’t use this app myself – I suppose I’m a bit “past it” – but I know how popular it is with younger people for staying in touch with friends, and like any form of technology, if used responsibly, there should be no issues at all.

According to their own guidelines, users should be a minimum of 13 years of age, so perhaps this is a good guideline in terms of assessing your own child’s use. I found an excellent parental guide to Snapchat on a website called www.connectsafely.org and this is well worth reading to learn about the different features, privacy and security settings etc.

However, I think that the most important thing would be to start having open conversations with your child about social media and its many benefits; but also how they can make sure that they use it with respect for themselves and others. There’s no avoiding technology in today’s world and who knows what the next craze will be, but the important thing is to keep the communication lines open with your child so they know they can come to you if they have any problem. I hope this is some way helpful and wish you all the best.

A reader writes: For every situation,

there is support

Dear Miriam,

Thanks for your letters from all the very unhappy marriages. It’s so sad that there are such arrogant men out in the world today. Life is for living, not to be tortured. For every situation, there is a support out there. You name it, it’s there. Pride keeps a lot of people from looking for help

I was married and still married to a lovely, kind man and had a big family. My problem was that after 10 years of being married I saw a big change in his drinking pattern. Money was getting scarcer by the minute, but it took me seven years to swallow my pride and look for help and that’s what I did. He knew I meant business. He could see the change if he didn’t change. I was going nowhere; he was getting out.

Long story short, it all came to a head and he was barred. I was told at that group don’t ever threaten if you don’t intend to go the whole way and I was ready.

He went for help 20 years ago and we all lived happy ever after and I have been thanked a thousand times over by my children and my husband. Best of luck to all these people. Remember, life is for living.

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Full series: Dear Miriam