If you’re reading this, you are either very organised for the festive season or you’ve given up trying to get everything done and decided it was time to take a break. Alternatively, you might be a very zen person who treats Christmas like any other day and are currently drinking a nice cup of tea, reading the paper and wondering what all the fuss is about.

Is your to-do list all crossed off or have you just thrown it in the fire? I love a good long to-do list and write the Christmas one at the end of October. November is spent crossing off items like baking the cakes, steaming the puddings and making gifts for posting abroad.

Smug feeling

I enter December with a rather smug feeling of being super organised. I write and post the cards, decorate the tree, make the door wreath and ice the cakes to be given as gifts.

Once that is done, my focus is spending time with family and friends. I love to meet friends for lunch or a cuppa rather than battle my way around town shopping for a gift.

I’d rather call a friend for a good long chat then go out and try and shout a conversation over the sounds of Mariah Carey or Slade.

Most years I’m lucky enough to be planning a trip to the airport to pick up one of my four. There’s nothing quite like the anticipation of their arrival and the catch up chat on the long drive home.

This year my daughter, Niamh and her partner Dan are coming home from Texas. I plan meals around the favourite dishes of whomever is coming home. When I asked Niamh what she’d like for her first night home, without hesitation, she said lamb. In fact, she said she’d have it on day two as well and maybe even day three. A big leg of Mayo lamb has been added to the shopping list.

They will spend Christmas Day with Dan’s family, my eldest son will be in New York and my youngest son will be in Vancouver. My youngest daughter Aishling and I will spend the day together enjoying lots of family traditions and creating a few new ones.

Special time

We were all together in New York last year and it was very special. Yes I’ll miss them but thanks to modern technology, we’ll have a Zoom call on Christmas night.

Christmas is depicted as a time for family gatherings. For many, this is not possible or practical. For some, it’s due to work commitments or financial constraints. For others, there was a falling out that hasn’t been resolved. Some will have lost a family member during the year and for others they no longer have family in the traditional sense.

Maybe we could broaden out the definition of family? I have friends that are as close to me as any sister or brother. My children had an extra granny in Mary next door, who didn’t have her own children so she spoiled mine rotten. Many have very close relationships with nephews, nieces, second cousins, or godchildren. Family can be whoever is important in your life that you share with, depend on, and love.

I hope this weekend you are picking up a loved one from the airport or train. Or that you will meet friends for a cuppa, a pint and importantly, a chat and a laugh. If there’s an empty chair this year, I hope you find solace in memories of Christmas past.

Tradition

Every Christmas Eve, I follow the tradition of having a red candle in the widow, lit by the youngest person present, as a symbol that everyone is welcome. In recent years, I light it again all Christmas Day as a way of remembering those who are abroad, those I miss or who have passed. If you’re on your own this Christmas, the candle is also lit for you.

Peace and good will to all. Nollaig shona dhaoibh.

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