When I’m doing my AI calls I see some fairly unbelievable things. Perhaps someday I will write a book about my experiences, but in the meantime, I think that I should disclose some of them in this column.

One notable incident took place in a very backward place with no mobile phone signal. The owner had inherited the farm and didn’t live on it, so there was no landline either.

It was really bad land and he only had two cows. Given that there were no buildings on the farm, he decided to erect a wooden construction with some kind of plastic sheeting for walls. Inside this were a couple of gates and a portable crush.

When I arrived, he had the cow penned up and was trying to get her into the crush. She was a red Limousin, with a great set of horns. I got kitted out and went to give him a hand.

When she saw me she went stone mad. She charged at the gate trying to get at me. At this the farmer started beating her with a stick.

This didn’t help as she then started to attack him. She got him into the corner and hit him several times.

I started to wonder what I was going to do if he got badly injured or killed. I certainly wasn’t getting into the pen with her and I had no mobile phone signal to ring for help.

While I was thinking, she was still hitting him. He had a hole cut in the plastic wall for a drinker (only the size of a cow’s head). By this stage, she was hammering him into this hole.

She pushed at him until she got him through the hole and into the drinker. I ran around the house to see if he was alive. When I got around he was standing up, soaked and sore, but generally OK.

I thought to myself that he had a lucky escape and assumed that the cow would be going back to the field without being served.

But I was wrong. After a few minutes, he went back to the cow. This time I stayed out of sight and he managed to get her into the crush. I got her inseminated and of course, she proved in-calf.

I thought that I wouldn’t see her again but lo and behold I had to go back to her the next year. She was still mad, and after getting her served, this time he decided to sell her in-calf to some other poor farmer.

Mad heifer

A few years ago, I came across a similar case, but instead, the farmer had a good set-up. He had all new houses with a good yard and crush. It was only a heifer and she was standing in the crush when I arrived.

I got her inseminated and just as I was removing my arm she hit me an almighty kick which left me hardly able to walk. I hobbled through the gate and he let her out of the crush.

Well, at that point all hell broke loose, as she attacked him. She pinned him against the gate and hit him several times. Again, I wondered what I was going to do as I was hardly fit to walk.

He started to climb the gate with her pushing him up until he fell over the top. I said: “You won’t be keeping that for a cow.”

Well, three years later and she’s still there on that farm. According to the owner she produces great calves. He also says she must be calved at least two months before he can venture into the pen with her.

Safety

The trouble is that the country is full of these types of cows, and if they are producing good calves, they are kept, no matter how dangerous. Some farmers have so little regard for their own safety.

At home I am now more determined than ever to try to have quiet cattle. Anyone can be caught out, but if you get a warning please heed it and take action. The only place for wild cattle is a factory.