As he jogged back to the halfway line after scoring his fourth goal of the game, Patrick briefly glanced towards his dad on the sideline. I gently nodded my seal of approval.

Four goals is a rare feat even for an 11-year-old, which in most circumstances would generate gleeful shrieks of delight and high-fiving from the proud dad. But Patrick is used to me standing slightly away from the other parents, arms folded, generally deadpan and motionless. It is a self-control mechanism beyond which I dare not venture.

Because to do so, runs the risk of spoiling everything for him. As we discovered recently when the parents of a young Cork player took his ex club to court due to the stress and trauma caused by a fallout with the club and coaches. The judge hearing the case didn’t find in their favour, which probably comes as a huge relief to GAA, soccer, and rugby clubs and their volunteers the land over.

Can you imagine the precedent which would have been set if the plaintiff’s case had been successful? The week following Patrick’s four-goal salvo, he played for less than a third of his match. And he wasn’t happy. An early retirement and return to the GAA was briefly mooted on the journey home. I listened, sympathised and consoled. Yes, I was sorry for him but assured him that frustration and disappointment comes with the territory – something parents should take note of too.

With literally two teams of players to try and please, what was his manager supposed to do, I said? It’s why I’ve chickened out of ever offering my coaching services. Whatever about upsetting the players who get the hump when they are benched, to suffer the wrath of an overenthusiastic parent demanding fair play for little Johnny or Mary is a place I just don’t want to go. Life has enough challenges already. So hats off to coaches everywhere.

The case in Cork may have been at the extreme end but there are parents out there who are deluded into believing that they are rearing the next Lionel Messi or Usain Bolt and who demand special treatment for their little legend. Take it from me, chilling out and enjoying the ups and bearing with the downs of juvenile sport is the most stress-free option for parent and child. CL

Busybody parking patrol

As summer arrives in earnest and we take to the beach, the local park or a country retreat, be careful where you park your car. I arrived back to mine after a short run in the beautiful sunshine last Sunday only to discover a large sticker “please refrain from parking here” rubbed hard into my windscreen. Yes, my windscreen. Hands up, I was sort of parked on a dubious double yellow line – but it was as much an obstruction as a stray dog in a big field. This quiet public road with two housing estate entrances had been busier than usual, with parked cars due to the inviting sunshine and the lure of the beauty that is the Phoenix Park.

But hiding in the bushes must have been a cowardly local hero who decided to revert to criminal damage by plastering a heavy-duty sticker on the driver’s side of several windscreens. These things don’t wash off easily. I live nearby and usually wouldn’t have had the car but needed it to run an errand beforehand, so hadn’t too far to nurse it home. Others may have had to drive dangerously to God knows where. What was this busybody hoping for? An accident to teach us a lesson not to park there again?