Marrying into a farm can be lonely, especially if you are not accustomed to the comings and goings of farm life. For Chloe Williams, who grew up in a town in Gloucestershire, it was a bit of a shock to the system.
“We got married in 2013 and I moved on to the farm then. It was ok, living on a farm. But after I had my first child, I felt suddenly isolated,” she told Farmers Journal Scotland. Chloe put herself under pressure to go to mother and baby groups to make new friends, but “didn’t hit it off with anyone, they weren’t my kind of people.”
She turned to social media for solace, and noticed a post on a farming forum of a girl who expressed the desire to marry a farmer. It wasn’t this that caught her attention though, it was the comments from the farmers’ wives underneath.
“I noticed comments from farmers’ wives saying ‘It’s lovely but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be’, one said she could remember calving a cow in a ball gown,” said Chloe, who studied horse care at Hartpury College.
In order to connect with others in similar situations, Chloe set up a Facebook group called ‘The crazy life of a farmer’s wife’.
“It started in 2015 and grew steadily at first. It was small and intimate. When I realised how much it was helping people I started pushing it more.”
In the private environs of the Facebook group, members share their stories. It can range from queries about a fussy kid that won’t eat vegetables to ‘we stay on the farm and play in the field, should we be trying to be more social?’. When Farmers Journal Scotland talked to Chloe it was farm selfie day in the group so there were lots of selfies being posted.
Sometimes the group can be more than just a support for farmer’s wives, it can be a life saver. “I once called 999 for a wife who claimed to want to take her life after losing her husband to a farming accident.”
However the group mainly stays on a light-hearted note, sometimes starting off a conversation with ‘You know you’re a farmer’s wife when…’
The group now has topic nights; such as Mental Health Mondays, Women’s Health Wednesdays and Social Saturdays.
“Some women are totally isolated and have nobody to confide in, this really gives them a place to reach out. And it works! We’ve helped so many wives with the topic nights,” Chloe said. “I also arrange Christmas shoe boxes for any wives that are struggling and worrying about affording Christmas.”
Hero
Chloe was nominated for the BBC Countryfile Farming Hero Award and while she didn’t win, she definitely feels as though it has taken the concept to a new level.
“Apparently a few wives from the group nominated me for the Countryfile Hero Awards. It was a brilliant experience even though I was a bit nervous at first. We had a massive camera crew here all day. It was lovely to meet Adam Henson and Charlotte Smith. To get to the final three was amazing.”
Chloe’s husband has been very supportive of the venture, even though it hasn’t been completely plain sailing. Social media can take over at times.
“It turned into my life and I constantly have my phone in my hand. At one point I had to re-evaluate. I only go on a few times during the day now.”
With her new website just launched, Chloe hopes it will be able to grow even further.
“Now the website is up and running, you can register anonymously and pick a random name. It should run itself, as before I had to check my phone regularly because some people wanted to post in the group anonymously.”
The new website is an exciting venture for Chloe, who has added a range of merchandise to go with it.
“I’m doing my first show in Monmouthshire on 7 July. My hope is to get around to each region each year. I’m hoping to go further afield all the time. I couldn’t be bringing these wives together without the shop side of it. I have two separate tents, one side where the wives will come and meet. Then the shop will be next door. At the moment there is also interest for small agricultural businesses, where wives want to sell their books on the website.”
There’s no doubt Chloe certainly solved her loneliness problem.
If you want to get involved or to order any of the merchandise, visit www.crazyfarmerswives.com.