Dear Miriam,

I read your column every week and feel great sympathy for those in troubled relationships with in-laws, spouses etc.

Can I admit that I am almost envious of them. I am a professional woman of 50, living alone in rural Ireland following the deaths of my parents. I was a carer for over 20 years and sacrificed many personal ambitions and relationships. I dreaded the Christmas holidays and the lonely days that followed until the return to work.

I made the effort with joining local clubs, sports etc over the years but have largely given up now. I live a life of quiet desperation, putting on a brave face to the outside world and coming home to a cold, empty house. Is that all there is?

Please don’t advise counselling as I couldn’t face being pitied. Do I move to town, be brave and try internet dating, or just accept this lonely future? At this stage, perhaps all I can hope for is acceptance, not contentment or happiness. Once I was optimistic and cheerful, now I am lonely and full of regret. What else can I do?

Lonely Leinster Lady

Dear Lonely Leinster Lady,

Thank you for getting in touch. Obviously, you know that I often recommend counselling, and I do think that it would be beneficial, even to make peace with the past and explore how the sacrifices that you made, including caring for your parents, have impacted on how you feel today. There is no need to fear being “pitied”: a professional counsellor would never judge you for seeking help, rather, it’s a sign of great strength.

However, with respect to your request, I have consulted with Rena Maycock of Intro Matchmaking (www.intro.ie and www.arealkeeper.ie) for her advice. I hope you find it helpful and hopeful and I wish you luck.

“Leinster Lady, please know that loneliness is not all there is left for you. You sound like a lovely, warm, humble lady, which are marvellous attributes. There are 1.5m single people in Ireland and there is someone for everyone. We started Intro Matchmaking five years ago and we hear stories like yours every day from both men and women of all ages. At this time of year, we are inundated with calls from lonely people who want more. You mention your age as a barrier. However, our youngest member may be 22 but our oldest is 83 – so it’s never too late.

“You are certainly not alone in wanting to share your life. It is human nature, but the greatest problem that ensures that loneliness remains an epidemic in Ireland is procrastination. You have taken the first very brave step of admitting that you would like to meet someone special. Now all you need to do is take the next step.

“Go where you are likely to meet available people who also want a proper relationship. Whether that’s an introductions agency or online dating, make your decision carefully and ensure that you will be meeting people who want the same thing you do. If you would like to date from the comfort of your own home, online dating is a great place to start. Generally, the people more serious about finding a life partner will use paid dating sites as they are more invested in meeting the right person. Once you have exchanged messages with someone you like, take the relationship into the real world as soon as possible and meet face to face and see if there’s any chemistry.

“Have realistic expectations – nobody is perfect and, in all likelihood, no one person will meet all of your criteria. Keep an open mind and see the positives in people. Be flexible on travel as it’s more important to meet the right man. Once you fall in love, address the geography. You may have to meet a few people before you come across “the one” so don’t be disheartened – enjoy the experience of meeting new people. At the very least, you will make some new friends. And, above all, don’t give up.

“If you (or any other reader) would like to try www.arealkeeper.ie we will offer you a free three-month subscription using the coupon code ARK2016 when you log in.”

Miriam adds: Remember that Irish Country Living also offers the Getting In Touch service. Full details on the page opposite.