I am so wound up for the past few weeks trying to figure out how to get my family and I through Christmas.

We are healthy and happy and to the outside world, we appear to have it all with a big new farmhouse and what seems to be a thriving farm. But earlier this year we went through a bad time that has left us skating on very thin ice financially.

Our three children know nothing about the situation and will expect Christmas as normal with all their cousins and grandparents sitting down for dinner with us, as is the tradition. I have managed to limit the day to the five of us, my own family know what has happened and are very understanding. My in-laws are happy to go to their other son this year.

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But I don’t know where I’m going to find the money for presents for loved ones, never mind any of the days out we normally take between Christmas and New Year. It’s all getting on top of me and I’m snapping at the kids when I should be getting into the Christmas spirit.

My husband is as stressed so we’re trying not to have bad days at the same time or the situation will blow.

Jennifer, Co Laois.

Dear reader,

The financial cost of Christmas seems to climb every year so you are not alone in your struggles. The end of the year can be a challenging time for many, who have survived many hardships over the previous 12 months and just want to get to the finish line of 2025 in one piece.

In terms of presents, you could tell friends and family that this year you’re making a donation to charity in lieu of Christmas presents

You have taken a very sensible decision in keeping Christmas dinner to the five of you. If your children are young enough, the chances are they won’t know the difference between turkey and chicken, or you might even get away with one meat entirely.

Trim back on the multitude of veg and the array of desserts we convince ourselves we must eat on 25 December, for further cost savings and it will all add up.

In terms of presents, you could tell friends and family that this year you’re making a donation to charity in lieu of Christmas presents. That way you have better control over what you spend and it will take the stress out of it.

You can still enjoy days out with the kids, if the weather plays ball you can take a drive to a forest walk where fresh air will be free – it’s the perfect antidote to overindulgence. It also allows you to spend quality time with your family and make new traditions. Try to focus on the positives – the fact that you are all together and healthy should help relieve some of the stress.

Reader writes

In response to the lady whose uncle was called for jury service after he passed (22 November issue), I also had a bad experience with a summons for jury service.

My mother died when she was in her nineties and not long after her death, we got a summons addressed to her for jury service. It was very upsetting, especially as we were known to the county registrar. I decided I would do nothing about it and we heard nothing after that.

There should at least be a system that deletes you off it when you reach a certain age. I write this in the hope that it might bring some solace to the lady to let her know that she is not alone in experiencing this.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie