Confession time: I’ve been having some inappropriate thoughts lately. I’ve been thinking a lot about what it might be like if I didn’t farm anymore.

Wouldn’t my life be so much better if I didn’t have to work all these hours? I miss out on family time, events and doing other things in my life I might enjoy.

It’s funny I’ve been feeling so down on farming lately because it’s not even, really, a stressful time of year. All of my big jobs are done. There hasn’t been anything major going wrong. The animals are in good health, we have plenty of grass and our finances – touch wood – are looking pretty good.

ADVERTISEMENT

I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so down in the dumps, and honestly, I was in such a mood it was affecting how I was treating other people, which is not okay. I was even grumpier than usual – a real feat. Then, at just the right moment, my wife booked some time away for just the two of us. I went away from the farm for a few days and doing that not only helped me unwind; it helped me figure out what had been bringing me down.

Now I must warn you, you might feel that some of these things are trivial, but to me even the smallest problem happening at the wrong time can seem insurmountable. I will start with probably the most trivial problem: the bloody flies.

Have you ever tried milking a cow when there’s a swarm of flies in the parlour? It can be absolute carnage in there. The cows are getting bitten and they are making sure you’re aware of it by sending extra kicks and tail slaps your way while you milk. I can usually handle two or three kicks per milking, but when most of them are doing it, it’s just stress. The tail swatting can actually be worse, especially if they snag you in the eye. I’ve had to take a minute after a good tail slap just to get out of a daze.

My next problem is an untreated injury. Like many farmers, I tend to think I’m the Terminator and can self-heal. I have been carrying a sharp pain in my shoulder, which radiates down my arm, for about two months. Every time I lift a cluster, I get a dart of pain.

Normal people would get something like that sorted right away, but I’m a bit too thick-headed. I did finally give in, though, and went to the physio. I was a little nervous to have acupuncture done for the first time, but sure enough the problem was a trapped nerve and this treatment has been working well.

The last thing which has been weighing me down lately is social media – especially seeing everything that persists to unfold in Gaza.

Like many of us, I use social media to help get informed and to be entertained. I usually only have time for it when I’m in bed, before I go to sleep. Seeing what has been happening in Gaza has been horrifying, and I think the worst thing is that I feel there is very little I can do.

I was a little nervous to have acupuncture done for the first time, but sure enough the problem was a trapped nerve and this treatment has been working well

As a farmer, I think about all the food I’m producing – good, nutritious milk would be lifesaving if it made it into their hands.

I read the food article in Irish Country Living the other week about Plates for Palestine, and the wife and I decided to throw a dinner party with friends as a bit of a fundraiser. It was a nice evening with great food – we even tried to make some cheese with our own raw milk. Let’s just say the Irish farmhouse cheese industry has nothing to fear from us.

In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t much, but it’s something. In the meantime, I’m going to stay away from social media for a bit.

Safe to say, I am feeling much better now after the break my wife “made me” take. I realise now that blaming the farm was not the way to go, I need to take a step back, not be so hard on myself and a solution will eventually come my way.

So if you are feeling the same way, please take time away from it all. You need both a fit body and mind to be able to tackle those cow tails coming at you.