Katherine O’Leary: sharing the magic at Women & Agriculture

A matriarch of Irish Country Living for over 20 years, Katherine O’Leary needs no introduction. Sharing her family and farming life with readers for the past two decades, her column has become a weekly staple of our paper, where she recounts the highs and lows of everyday life.

As we celebrate another year of farm women at our Women & Agriculture conference in Sligo (Thursday), we also celebrate the lady who was there at the very beginning in 2008 and who hasn’t missed a conference since, despite navigating a serious health challenge in recent years.

Katherine is undergoing radiotherapy treatment for a rare aggressive cancer, Leiomyosarcoma, which was first discovered in 2019. She will travel to the UK next month for further surgery following the discovery of new tumours earlier this year.

Speaking to Irish Country Living from her home in the picturesque valley of Woodside, just outside Tower, Co Cork, Katherine reflects on the past 17 years of Women & Agriculture, an event she will chair this year for the third time.

“In 2007, the then editor of Irish Country Living Mairead Lavery got the idea to hold an event following on from a conference held in Croke Park for women in agriculture, run by [the] IFA in partnership with the Irish Farmers Journal and that sowed the seed,” she says.

“We wanted our conference to educate women, and to give them a great day out in a really nice place that they might not get the chance to go to ordinarily. We also wanted to entertain them and to give them an opportunity to mix and network with like-minded women from all over the country.”

Katherine credits the magic of Women & Agriculture to the special energy of the women who attend year after year, regardless of where the event is held.

“From that first year, it absolutely took off. It’s hard to describe the energy in the room on the day but it very quickly developed into women planning to return and to bring their sisters and their cousins along. You can see the groups of women that have come together, who use the conference as their once a year get-together and really focus on their lives,” she adds.

“Maybe it’s because I’m going through my own health issues but I also notice that there may be a woman in the midst of something, who is going through her own health challenges, and her friends bring her along. It’s very much a place where you can be yourself.

“The women who come year after year, put huge trust in us to put on a conference that they will get something out of. The cohort of women are all bringing baggage and beautiful life stories that they are very willing to share because it is a safe space.

“I’ve had women coming to me year after year telling me serious, heartfelt problems. Things like succession, particularly where succession goes wrong, marriage problems and very big worries about their adult children. They [their children] may be still living at home, who may not have a job yet or who may be – in their view – in the wrong career path. Part of our duty is to open their minds to other things and to maybe not judge their children so much, to release the apron strings and let them go.

“It’s hard to put your finger on what makes it work, but I think it’s the willingness of the participants as well. They are a wonderful audience; they’re just a very warm crowd.”

Mental load

Katherine feels the theme of this year’s conference, ‘Minding You,’ is something that will resonate with everyone in attendance on the day.

“I think women tend to take on too much,” she says.

“Women are wired a certain way, we are in that caring role, the working role, the mothering role, the taxi role, the advice role. We’re the confidante for everybody and we carry the mental load.”

Katherine’s early years of motherhood were particularly challenging. Her eldest daughter Julie was born with cerebal palsy, and three years later, her son Diarmuid was born with Down’s Syndrome. He would go through years of surgery to construct a bladder, which he had been born without. Two more sons, Philip and Colm were born in subsequent years.

“I was very involved in advocacy roles, both for people with disabilities and in farming issues and I found this very therapeutic. I really was leading a very full life as a lot of women on farms – in whatever role they play – are doing.

“In hindsight, the question arises: ‘where did I go wrong’ or ‘what did I do that I’m in this [health] situation?’

“Lots of people say cancer is stress related, so it’s hard not to think did I take on too much? Young women have learned to say no a bit more and that’s very important, but no was not in my vocabulary, especially when my children were younger.

“When you come in in the evening, after milking, the man’s work is often finished but yours my not be because you have to plan the meals for tomorrow, make the lunches, do the wash-up, tidy up and so on. I’m not complaining but it’s a big workload and you have to learn to manage that. When I look back, I don’t know if I did manage it well in the earlier years. There were things that didn’t need to be done.

“I remember being at home one day, the children were all very small and I was running around cleaning and tidying, the kitchen and living area were pristine. And then I went to visit my friend Betty and I opened the door and she was sitting on the floor in the middle of her five children reading a story, the wash-up wasn’t done and the floor wasn’t swept and I’ll always remember thinking that day ‘which of us is right here?’”

Katherine says she inherited her drive from her mother, who was a teacher and was very involved in the community. She believes the next generation of O’Leary women are charting their own paths.

“When I look back, I had an abundance of energy, but as you move on, you have less. I see my daughter Julie, and daughters-in-law Elaine and Aileen with their children and they have lots of energy and are involved in lots of different things,” she muses.

“That was me back in the day but I’m still actively involved here on the farm where I rear the calves in the spring.”

Delegates at Women & Agriculture will receive plenty of sage advice from Katherine, who urges all women to make time and space for themselves.

“It’s important to get out there and to have your own life. I do remember turning 40 and it being one of the worst days of my life. I realised that I had given myself in total to child rearing and it took me quite a while to fight back, to actually gain my own life back – as in friendships – and reclaim my career,” she says.

“It was like I had a fight within me that took three or four years to resolve. I remember that feeling vividly, almost as if my life was very small. It can happen again when you’re ageing, which is the stage I’m at. I’m 66, and you can let your life get small.”

Camaraderie

Katherine and her team of helpers are confident that this year’s Women & Agriculture conference will give women that feeling of camaraderie, belonging and will encourage those who may be struggling to get involved in their own local organisations.

“Mairead and I decided we needed our own team at the very beginning that would run the conference on the ground on the day, a team who would be able to manage the nearly 600 women and direct them to where they needed to be throughout the day,” she explains.

“My team of women this year, they’ve come every single year, are: Mary Murphy, Betty Murphy, Patsy Beades, Ann Moore, Patricia Lonergan, Evelyn Kearney, Theresa Wrafter, Elsie Murray and Angela Carney. These are my right-hand women, hardcore, they’re brilliant craic. Mary Mc Greal has also been a great help over the years.”

“There was a year I forgot my dresses and I had to go into Killarney to get sorted. They must have had 60 different dresses on me and the laughs we had, they had me stood with my hands over my head the whole time, we had great fun.

“There has been lots of learning over the years, but we have perfected the model, it’s like anything – every year we hope to get better.

“I can’t wait to get to Sligo for a brilliant conference,” says Katherine.