‘The different traditions and customs were represented, and merged lovingly'

Walking up the aisle on my son’s wedding day was quite different to how I imagined it. Firstly, it was him I walked in with rather than his dad – as John passed away some time ago.

Secondly, the hand I had on his arm was beautifully decorated with henna as were the hands of numerous guests, many of whom were in a Catholic Church for the first time. That walk up the aisle was the cumulation of months of planning by the couple and the coming together of two families and cultures to celebrate love.

The marriage of Ian and Sandeep was an Irish, Canadian, Catholic, Sikh celebration. The different traditions and customs were represented and merged over the four days. Bags of Tayto were emptied into bowls beside pakoras and ladoos. Jaffa cakes were served with masala chai. Men wore a suit one day and a kurta the next. Greetings ranged from ‘Howya’ to ‘Sat Sri Akal’.

Leading up to the wedding I’ll admit to being nervous. What if I got a ritual wrong and offended Sandeep’s family? Which style of dress did I wear to which event? Could I sit on the floor of the temple for over an hour (an artificial knee does not make for graceful sitting in a lotus position).

As my daughters and I started to order saris, lehangas and kurtas we came to love the very colorful outfits. When mine arrived, the palazzo pants were so wide I could have hidden a small child under them. Purple was worn with yellow, greens and blues merged together and there were all shades of pink filling our wardrobes and eventually our suitcases. And yes, we definitely had checked in bags.

From my very first meeting with Sandeep’s extended family I knew all my worries were groundless. We met with hugs, warmth and sharing food together.

My first visit to a temple was as new to me as was her parents first visit to a church. We each agreed to make sure the other knew when to stand, sit etc. While the rituals and traditions were important, our most important role was as parents to two adults that we loved, who loved each other.

Having attended many weddings I know the rhythm of a Catholic ceremony but the Sikh ceremony was completely unknown. We entered the temple with shoes removed, and heads covered. There were no pews, no formal aisles and I didn’t understand most of the dialogue. But what I did understand was the importance of the words, music and rituals to those present.

The dance off between the bride and groom families will go down in history. Let’s just say the Irish lads danced with more enthusiasm than skill or rhythm

I also felt no one was watching for us to make mistakes. Instead, there was an unspoken appreciation that we had shown up, dressed appropriately and with the same respect they had shown in the church.

There aren’t enough words in this column to describe the days of celebrations. From the henna party where our hands were beautifully decorated, to the color and dancing of the jaggio. From the ritual of the maiyan to having the craic at an Irish bar, there was joy and laughter.

The dance off between the bride and groom families will go down in history. Let’s just say the Irish lads danced with more enthusiasm than skill or rhythm. Ian’s face was only saved by the graceful efforts of his sisters.

There was the elegance of the final black tie event followed by the youthful enthusiasm of a disco. Seeing the floor full of my children and their friends dancing to Maniac 2000 brought me such joy.

Joy is a word that keeps coming to mind when I think back to the celebrations. It was a truly joyful celebration with warmth, colour, music, reverence, laughter, friendship, an unmistakable sense of shared love for Ian and Sandeep and maybe a few tears.

During his speech Ian paid tribute to his father, John.

He compared how John always showed up for others to the way their friends and family had shown up for the wedding and how they had all gotten involved. I’m not sure even Ian envisioned the lads showing up in matching pale pink kurtas and headscarves for the temple.

In a world often divided by cultures and borders it was beautiful to watch different cultures embrace and celebrate each other’s uniqueness.

Maybe love is all we need.