Question: I’m a little embarrassed by what I’m about to tell you, even though that annoying ad on the telly about bladder leaks with the women doing yoga suggests my problem is quite common.
Over the past year or so, I’m finding it very hard to get to the bathroom in time when I have a sudden urge to wee. It’s a nightmare when I’m out working on the farm, and it’s really starting to get me down.
I never had children. We weren’t blessed with a family of our own, so while I know that mothers can suffer with these matters after their children are born, I’m mortified that here I am in my late 50s and I’m wetting myself.
My GP is a man, so there’s no way I’ll ever mention it to him, and my husband wouldn’t understand either. I have asked my sister, who is a few years older than me, if it’s happened to her, but she says no. She did, however, suggest I go to a pelvic health physiotherapist who might be able to help. But, to be honest, I’m just mortified about admitting what is going on to anyone other than yourself.
I never thought of myself as getting older until this started happening. I wouldn’t be the most confident woman at the best of times, but this isn’t helping me feel good about myself. Can you help?
Embarrassed in Cork
Dear reader,
The urinary incontinence you’re experiencing is likely down to your age and the menopause, which can affect the strength of your pelvic floor muscles. These are the muscles that hold your bladder, bowels, uterus and other organs in the pelvis in place. So yes, men can suffer from what you’re experiencing too, but it is more common in women.
Your sister is right to suggest you see a pelvic health physiotherapist who will assess you and give you advice and exercises that should mitigate your symptoms.
You may need to be referred to a urologist if your symptoms don’t respond after six months, but this is not something to fear.
But I’m more concerned about the psychological toll this is taking on you. We are all getting older, but it may help to know that this is an issue experienced by women of all ages.
Your sister is right to suggest you see a pelvic health physiotherapist who will assess you and give you advice and exercises that should mitigate your symptoms
According to research published earlier this year by the Continence Foundation of Ireland, almost two-thirds of Irish women (64%) have experienced urinary incontinence at some point in their lives. Yet, despite it being so common, just half of women who have ever experienced urinary incontinence (51%) have sought the help of a healthcare professional to treat their symptoms.
That TV ad you mention suggests women can cover up the issue with incontinence pads, which I’ve no doubt are a lifeline for women in many situations where they want to carry on with their lives unhindered by their pelvic floor issues.
But in order to regain the quality of life you had before this issue presented itself, I would urge you to contact a physio who specialises in female health as your first step in tackling the issue. There is no reason to be embarrassed by something that affects so many women and, hopefully, as more and more of us acknowledge the condition, it will lose its shameful associations that keep it hidden.
Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie
