So here’s the life update – the mom guilt is on another level at the moment. If it was one of those thermometers that I stick in my children’s ears, it would be blinging red.

Said mom guilt is made up of the usual components – me having a busy job, himself having a busy job, school runs and sports drops. And so pressure builds and I adopt a persona that my own mother would describe as a ‘fish woman’.

My ‘fish woman’ usually reaches its peak screech sometime around 8.15am on weekday mornings as I negotiate lunchboxes and finding a shoe (there’s always one, but where’s the other?) fused with a six-year old who hates the taste of toothpaste and a three-year old who is determined to climb his own mountain to get into the car seat himself.

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But mom guilt has reached epic proportions in recent weeks as we complete what has been a nine-month renovation on our 1930s house. On paper, this was the obvious and necessary evil to bring our house into the 21st century. The reality is I have become a woman obsessed with the colour of countertops and the AC ratings of laminate floors. Our nighttime reading is an electrical plan and I carry a measuring tape in my handbag.

But here’s the thing, the truth is many mothers, myself included are probably a bit too hard on ourselves

The result is Saturday trips to the park have been replaced with traipsing around tiling showrooms, and Sundays are spent at home prepping for the week ahead while my husband paints and caulks.

So when he asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, my answer was simple – a break from the mom guilt.

But here’s the thing, the truth is many mothers, myself included are probably a bit too hard on ourselves – or so my friend pointed out recently when she exclaimed, “But sure you’re doing it for them.” Which is true. I can’t wait for the day that I can bake with my daughter on our island instead of in our old galley kitchen where about five ingredients would fall down from the packed shelf whenever I went to get the flour. And I dream of summer days where I can look out at my son playing in the garden now that some old (kind of dodgy) structures have been removed.

And to flip the coin on its head, I’d have mom guilt if we didn’t get the work done because some days that house was as cold inside as it was outside.

Chatting to friends, it seems there’s no escaping the mom guilt. Some moms feel guilty for working too hard and not seeing their kids enough. Others who stay at home miss time with adults and feel guilty for not enjoying this stage in the way they thought they would.

Some feel bad for not carting them to five different matches during the weekend, and those on the sidelines feel the guilt for having them out in the wind and rain and them catching a cold.

So forget about the flowers, the chocolates and the cards, the one gift we all need this Mother’s Day weekend is to get rid of the guilt – for one day at least. And if you’re finding this weekend hard, please be gentle with yourself – whether you’re thinking of your own mother, dreaming of being a mother, or are missing your child with all your heart.

For those that need to hear it this Mother’s Day weekend – you’re doing your best and that’s enough.