It has been a restful winter season for me this year. Truthfully, I had no choice but to relax after having minor surgery in December – I had to keep the leg up for a few weeks. I’m glad to say I’m now back on my feet and once again able to get the jobs done.

If it was any other time of year, I would have driven everyone in the house demented. But as soon as January hit, all I could think about was the fact that calving is just a few weeks away.

Pre-calving, things are quiet. The usual day-to-day jobs of feeding and cleaning need to be done, but don’t usually take longer than two hours. I’m loving being back on my aul’ Massey 165; scraping the muck into the pit. That tractor is approaching half a century, but it isn’t showing any signs of ageing.

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It still has that lovely whistle as you bob around the yard. It came with a multiple power lever, and as a child I thought it was like turning on ‘warp speed’ on the Starship Enterprise. I really believed it was the fastest tractor on the planet. Hopefully, we’ll get a few more decades out of it.

Now, we’re awaiting the first of the 2026 calves – they could arrive any day – and my restful winter will soon be forgotten. These first weeks of January have been all about getting ‘calving fit’.

To get ‘calving fit’, you have to get your animals, equipment, facilities and – most importantly – yourself in shape. I’ll start with the equipment. I need to make sure the jack is well oiled (we use the jack for difficult calving situations) and that our ropes, gloves, feeders and necessary medicines are all available and in good working order.

One big thing for me is the calving cameras. These are my best friends during calving season – they have to be working well or I will lose significant amounts of precious sleep. Believe me – the more time you can spend in bed, you and your whole family will be better for it. If I could figure out a way to put a GoPro on each cow and livestream their movements to my phone, I would do it.

The place is shining now, ready for the class of 2026. We also made sure the gates, doors and pillars are all in good working order so cows and calves can’t escape

I just don’t think they’d make the best camera technicians – they’re probably more into selfie sticks. They love waddling around, showing off. Brings new meaning to the phrase ‘selfish cow’.

As for facilities, our calving sheds need to be cleaned and secured. I have a great power washer and it’s so satisfying blasting away all the muck.

This thing is so powerful, it could lift a small child off the ground. You forget how many layers of crap stick to everything. The place is shining now, ready for the class of 2026. We also made sure the gates, doors and pillars are all in good working order so cows and calves can’t escape.

Next up are the animals themselves. As many a farmer knows, the cow needs to be in good condition before she calves or you will be in for a world of pain (not nice for anyone, most of all the poor cow). You’re constantly keeping an eye on your lighter animals, the ones which are easily stressed, the really fat ones (not fat-shaming, just saying) and the trouble-makers from last year (you know who you are).

Two weeks prior to calving, I start bringing them into the parlour again to give them some meal and so I can have a closer look at them. It’s similar to making sure your wife’s comfortable during pregnancy, but she would say I probably put more work into the cows.

The last and some might say most important thing is to get yourself in shape for calving, physically and mentally.

Over Christmas, I put on… ahem… a bit of timber. Sure I had nowhere to go and so much nice food hanging around the place. So I started lifting weights, stretching and giving myself pep talks in the mirror.

I’ve been off social media, mainly to avoid the posts kicking farmers while they’re down over Mercosur. Aside from the usual haters, I feel let down by the nation’s everyday talking heads – the presenters and economists.

Obviously they’ve forgotten farmers are the OG traders; we know all about trade deals and know a bad deal when we see one.

If only these people could experience just one calving season with me – maybe then, and only then, they would understand what we fight for.