A lot of people come to me for help around the age of 50 and they want the same things as they did at 20, thirty and forty. They are looking for someone that will love them completely, someone who is nice to them, someone they can trust and have a giggle with.

Sometimes we think at this age our chances of finding love are over. I can assure you they are not.

I know the pool of people can be smaller but there are still a lot of other people of fifty and more looking just like you, for that special person to share their life with.

With western society’s good health care and the high standard of food we have available to us these days, 50 really is the new 40!

I promise you once you get out and start meeting new people, you’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner.

The first step is the hardest, but once you take it you will get braver with every action, more confident and happier.

There are eight billion people on the planet. There is a person out there looking for you too. So, don’t give up.

Build your confidence

Lack of confidence is the thing I see over and over again that stops people putting themselves out there to find a partner. Build your confidence any way you can. Read a book, do a course, start working out, change your diet. Whatever you need to do, commit to it.

Join a group, club or organisation

Follow what you enjoy, be it a walking club or a chess group. When you meet people with the same interests, there is an immediate feeling they are similar to you. We like people we feel are similar to us. This makes it easier to build immediate rapport too. Hobbies are a great way to end loneliness and make new connections. I feel they are the spice of life.

Volunteer

Volunteering is the best way to get out of your head and make a difference to you and somebody else. You will meet like-minded, caring people and have a new sense of wellbeing just knowing you are making a difference. This alone raises your self-esteem and confidence. When you give back, you receive.

Join the online dating world

It opens up a whole new pool of people. Use it to widen your circle and when you find someone you connect with, meet them in real life. You have to see if there is chemistry there.

Speak to everyone

This will strengthen your social and conversational skills. Take a trip to the shops on your own or go have a coffee alone and make conversation with everybody. Then when you do meet someone you like, you will be ready and able to charm them off their feet. Go out now and buy the famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Everyone should have a copy. It’s a fantastic book on how to connect with people and live your best life.

Speed dating

I love the concept of speed dating, because you are using your instinct a lot. If you have no interest in a certain person, you don’t have to spend the whole evening with just that one person. Also, you are meeting a lot of people at once.

Frances Kelleher is a dating coach, with the tools, skills and stratigies to help people succeed at dating. For more information, click here.