I am coming under a lot of pressure from my son and his wife to transfer over the farm as my health is failing and I’m not able to work as well as I used to.

I’m resigned to signing over the land, but hope I’ll still be able to do bits and bobs around the place. My big worry is what happens to my home and whether I have to sign that over too. My son seems to think I do, and has designs on the place, even though he has a fine house he built on the land many years ago. I don’t want to move out of the only home I’ve ever known, this was my parent’s house before me and my late wife raised our family here, and I don’t want to leave.

But I have read that if I end up in a nursing home, I’ll pay through the nose if I still have the farm and the house in my own name.

ADVERTISEMENT

I really don’t want to even consider a nursing home, but I’m not getting any younger so I want to be practical about it, while still having the power to make my own decisions. Can you offer me any help on how to move things forward that will keep everyone happy?

– A Wexford reader

Dear reader,

I’m sorry you’re feeling pressured to make what is a very big decision. The first thing I would suggest is that you seek professional advice from someone outside the family on this.

Regardless of what your son wants, the choices you make concerning your land and your farmhouse rest solely with you. If you believe it makes sense financially and practically to transfer the land, then that is something you can proceed with subject to getting independent legal and financial advice.

The most important thing is to retain your right to make your own decisions, regardless if they align with what your son may feel is the best course of action

A good solicitor with a track record in succession can also advise you of your options when it comes to your home. It may well make sense from a financial point of view to transfer the house to your son, but to retain a right of residency, which would give you a legal right to remain in your home.

The most important thing is to retain your right to make your own decisions, regardless if they align with what your son may feel is the best course of action.

In terms of nursing home charges, contact your local HSE Nursing Home Support office to see if you qualify for the Fair Deal scheme and if so, what assets are taken into consideration when assessing your application.

Reader writes

In reply to the Sligo reader who is anxious about her son starting secondary school, my own parents expressed similar concerns when I entered first year, in very similar circumstances, back in the mid-1990s.

It is important to remember that he has finally completed 6th class, along with his classmates. This in itself is a great achievement. Let him look forward to the next step, he has earned it and deserves to be there.

For me, a big part of settling in was getting to know the building layout and where classes are held, and being able to get from one room to another in a timely manner without getting lost. Teachers and older students are usually ready to give directions to new starters.

Best of luck and enjoy!

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie