My eldest son finished primary school this summer and can’t wait to start in the local secondary school at the end of the month.

But my heart is in my mouth sending him into the town to an all-boys school of nearly 900 students when he has come from the most beautiful, co-ed, small rural school where he was one of a class of eight.

He isn’t sporty so won’t have the benefit of teams to help him settle and is quite a shy young fella so I’m so anxious at how he’ll make friends and cope with such a huge change.

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His father says I mollycoddle him but I don’t, and I think he too is secretly worried as to how our son will get on. Any advice on how to make the transition a smooth one for all of us?

A regular reader in Sligo

Dear reader,

Your fears for your son are understandable but you have to be so careful that you don’t end up increasing any underlying anxiety he may have, if he picks up on yours.

Kids are so resilient and the biggest sign that your son is ready for this next step is that he is openly expressing the fact he can’t wait to go to secondary school. Most sixth-class children are ready for the next stage long before they finish primary school and it sounds like your son is chomping at the bit to get into secondary school, along with his friends.

This is a big transition for your family, especially Mammy who is possibly mourning the passing of his primary school years?

Sport is not the only way for your son to settle into his new routine. There will likely be a range of extra-curricular activities that may be of interest, where he will meet like-minded children and form friendships

It probably seems only like yesterday you were dropping him off for his first day of primary school. However, your role is to support your son in the weeks and months ahead, when the longer school day and a timetable of new subjects could throw up a few challenges.

Sport is not the only way for your son to settle into his new routine. There will likely be a range of extra-curricular activities that may be of interest, where he will meet like-minded children and form friendships.

If you are particularly concerned you could make an appointment to speak with the principal of the secondary school, or its guidance counsellor to get some reassurance for yourself as you navigate this next stage of parenting.

But try your best to hide your worries from your son. Your job is to encourage him in this new adventure and bolster his self-esteem by convincing him he’s well able for what lies ahead.

Reader writes

Dear Miriam,

On reading the letter from a worried Kerry mother, issue of 5 July, I would strongly advise her to have a word with a Garda.

I wish I had my son back again. He was 18 and wasn’t wearing a seat belt. It’s no good having regrets. I wish her and her son all the best.

Dear Miriam,

In reply to your reader whose son refuses to wear a seatbelt, I would point out that all F1 and all racing car drivers and rally drivers and co-drivers wear best quality seatbelts.

I think it fair to say most of these come in under the ‘super-cool’ heading.

Also, if you survive a minor accident, an eye full of windscreen glass is likely going to cause uncool squinting for life thereafter.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie