My partner and I have recently bought our first home after years of scraping and saving and living apart in our respective family homes. It’s a fixer upper and we’ve a lot of work to do but that’s part of the charm and nothing should be tainting the experience as we are so excited at having our first home.

But the joy has soured with the discovery that friends of my partner have now bought a house in the same village, which is where I’m originally from. I don’t have anything against this couple, so long as I can keep them at arm’s length but that doesn’t look very likely if they’re going to be our neighbours.

I get on fine with this man, who is one of my partner’s closest friends, and don’t begrudge them their friendship which goes back to their college days. But his partner is very obnoxious towards me and I feel they take my partner’s kindness and generosity for granted as he is regularly asked to mind their pets or collect their post when they are on holidays.

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He seems excited to have his friend living nearby and is keen to reassure me that we won’t be living in each other’s pockets. I don’t even know why they have invested in a home in an area neither of them have any connection to, especially when she has told me she’s not fond of the area. It’s slightly unnerving. How can I convince my partner to create some healthy boundaries from the beginning to avoid any problems down the line?

– A new home owner,

Co Clare

Dear reader,

First of all, congratulations on your new home, which is a huge milestone for you and your partner, particularly in the current climate when home ownership is no longer considered a given for young people.

I would urge you to focus on the positives of your new status as homeowner, as there is nothing more exciting and daunting than gaining a foothold on the property ladder.

The fact you are doing it with your partner means this is a very special time and you should try to block out any outside noise or distractions, wherever they may come from.

Have a chat to your partner about the potential pitfalls to living so close to this couple. To that end, I’m sure healthy boundaries can easily be established to protect you from any inappropriate expectations.

A house refurbishment is a major undertaking so you will not have the same opportunities to socialise while you divert your time and financial resources into renovations.

You may also find that this other couple will be similarly caught up in their own home ownership bubble and this could keep them at bay for the foreseeable. If not, politely decline any invitations to spend time together and explain you’re no longer in a position to look after pets at the drop of a hat.

Have a chat to your partner about the potential pitfalls to living so close to this couple. To that end, I’m sure healthy boundaries can easily be established to protect you from any inappropriate expectations

A few subtle push backs will help drive the message home that while you’re happy to be neighbours, this new home is an exciting new chapter in your relationship and you need the space to enjoy it.

Hopefully, when the time comes for them to move into their home they will want that space for themselves.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie