‘A farm is a busy place, full of varied emotions, it all has to be managed'

It’s just over a year since Tim and I walked out of the solicitor’s office having completed the signing over of the farm to Colm. We stood in the Grand Parade in Cork and acknowledged that we felt a little sad that Woodside was no longer ours.

Yet, there was a sense of fulfilment and continuity about completing the succession process. It’s taken me a year to write about it. I needed it to settle. I needed our new roles to settle. Life went on as normal. There were four people involved – Tim and I, Colm and Elaine. Of course there were regrets that we didn’t have more to give to others. I think this is why succession is so difficult, because what we farmers have to give is finite. It is a means to earning a living. While you have it, it’s a valuable asset.

So we crossed the road, entered the car park and drove home to our normal life. It had changed completely, yet was exactly the same.

I remember a great sense of relief when Tim inherited Woodside. We were secure and our income was safe. Tim planned hard for the succession journey to go well. He sought outside help to move the process along. We are now in a three-way farm partnership.

A farm is a busy place and it is full of varied emotions. It all has to be managed.

Yet, there was a sense of fulfilment and continuity about completing the succession process. It’s taken me a year to write about it. I needed it to settle. I needed our new roles to settle. Life went on as normal

I had the loveliest experience last week. It was silage cutting time and there was a window of great weather. The silage would be cut and picked up on the Thursday. I’ve often written here about feeding contractors. The main silage crop is the biggest event for the kitchen. There were six men and four of us. Ten is a big ask.

I’d also just had chemotherapy and I wasn’t fully able to concentrate, which was very frustrating. I think Colm said on the day, “Mom, Elaine will feed the silage men.” I remember feeling this flood of relief.

It’s not easy to feed silage men when you’ve two small boys. Peter is two and a half years old and Alan is nearly six months. He wants to be going like his brother and he’s teething.

Passing the mantle

As Alan needs constant entertainment, I volunteered to take him for the few hours while Elaine continued her mission. She pulled it off like a pro. I could hear the hum of chat from the men up the hall, glad of a break and another job completed. It’s a lovely tradition to feed contractors. Not everyone agrees with me. The tradition nearly got wiped out during COVID-19 and I remember we fed the men outdoors.

I’m all for planning as you know. In this instance, Elaine seamlessly took over the mantle from me, continuing the O’Leary tradition and the one I learned from my own mother in Tipperary. It doesn’t mean I won’t do it again.

It would be impossible for Elaine to feed 10 people while working and looking after two little boys. There are other ways too. You can buy the dinners in or take the men to the village pub. It is a legitimate farm expense.

Filling a mother-in-law’s shoes is an outdated notion because you couldn’t possibly compare the two lives. If all parties are applying themselves to succession working, then it can seamlessly fall into place. There’s just one caveat – keep talking and make the plan.

Don’t be afraid to ask “can you feed the silage men?” And don’t be afraid to say “no, I can’t” either. I’ve seen it happen; dinners ready in two houses for farm visitors. Isn’t it better to have the conversation?