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I used to hear stories from my elders about the Second World War. No meat or sugar available, the rationing of food. This experience gave people an appreciation for the simple things, because they had been through huge, life-changing events that shaped and moulded society.
The coronavirus may be the event that will mould us. The question is, will we let it bury us and our relationships or allow it to raise us up?
Stress is never good for relationships. I have heard lots of people saying that being confined together 24/7 will be a cause for divorce!
It is also worrying that 88 couples immediately filed for divorce once the quarantine period ended in Wuhan, China
Even high-profile divorce lawyer Baroness Shackleton, whose clients have included Madonna and Paul McCartney, warned Westminster that divorce rates will rise.
She stated that demand for their services usually rise after long exposure periods, like the summer holidays and Christmas.
It is also worrying that 88 couples immediately filed for divorce once the quarantine period ended in Wuhan, China.
On the other hand, there have been baby booms after hurricane Irma, Sandy and Harvey, not to mention other disasters involving snow blizzards and blackouts. Some of my friend’s husbands are self-isolating at home and they are so sad and frustrated because they can’t have a family dinner together, sit in the same room, or even just hug their wife and children.
Whether your relationship thrives or dies during this time depends on how you both react to the new situation and how strong your relationship is. So, here are some tips on how to embrace this opportunity and protect your relationship.
1 Map out the day ahead and write down your to-do-list the night before. It helps you sleep better and makes your day much more productive. List them in order of priority, so you can do the most important things first when you have the most energy.
2 Get enough sleep, eat well and exercise.
3 Keep a gratitude diary. Write down three things every morning that you are grateful for.
4 Plan to spend time together, whether it’s a walk, a picnic or a movie. When we were in the rat race running for our lives, we dreamed of having quality time with our partner and family. Now is that time. Embrace it, even if it is not perfect.
5 Spend time in different parts of the house. Go into a bedroom to work for the day and have dinner that night together. You can find space if you carve it out for yourself.
6 Live in the now. This relieves stress immediately and allows you to be your best self in the moment. Remember that this is temporary. Take one day at a time. Find comfort that the whole world is going through this too.
7 If one of you is self-isolating in the house, leave notes thanking your partner for the good things they do for you – even if it is just them staying away from you so you won’t get sick! Forget the bad and concentrate on the good.
8 If you have children and are working from home, discuss balancing the childcare between you so each person gets their undivided work time. This will ease frustration and build connection.
9 Lead by example. Choose to make these memories happy ones. This is especially important if you have children. Don’t immerse yourself all day in the news, social media etc. Be present for them. Let them remember this time as a happy one. If you are stressed, they will pick up on it.
10 Make a list of all the things you wanted to do, but had no time. The books you wanted to read, the hobbies you wanted to learn, etc.
11 Create a new type of date night. At the end of the day, watch an episode of a comedy and have a glass of wine together (in moderation of course). Laughing is the best antidote to stress and bonds people together.
12 Meditate, even just for ten minutes a day. Meditation actually changes your brain. Research has shown it provides a multitude of benefits, ranging from making you more focused to preserving your vital life energy.
13 Keep a routine as best you can. Shower and look after your appearance as much as you would when going into the office. You will feel better, be more motivated and it shows your partner you care because you are making the effort to keep the spark alive.
For couples whose marriage was already under pressure, this could be a huge struggle or an opportunity to reconnect. This virus has made everyone in the world realise that in the end, love is all that matters.
For more tips and advice on matters of the heart, go to franceskellehercoaching.com
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