I sat up in bed in the hotel room in the Mullingar Park Hotel. I was really emotional and didn’t really know why. I felt my chest would explode. Gay Byrne had died earlier in the day. The radio was full of well-deserved tributes and memories. I had my own unique set. Gay didn’t mean the same to everyone. It was influenced by age and circumstance.

I had travelled up to Mullingar to be ready to participate in a training day for HSE staff in the eastern area. I knew that there was a special The Late Late Show due to be aired, but I also knew that I’d arrive around 9pm and had to meet with Alison Harnett, the interim manager of the Federation of Voluntary Bodies. Although we have been working together for 10 years; we still need to trash out what we are going to say. I mentioned the special tribute The Late Late Show. We decided on an early night. When I got to the room I realised that the show had just begun on RTÉ +1.

Cartoon by Clyde Delaney.

I can’t say I enjoyed the show because everything about it reminded me of loss. Maybe not so much loss but lonesomeness for that time when my childhood life was without responsibility. Our parents represented safety and the only devices we had were the family radio and TV. When we contrast that with today from electric toothbrushes to smart TVs, we realise just how much life has transformed. Gay Byrne brought us through many changes, always challenging fearlessly the status quo. When Ryan Tubridy said that he grew up with his mother loving and watching The Late Late Show, I realised why I was so emotional. Gays Byrne represented my childhood. My dear Mam loved him and many of the guests that he interviewed. Maureen Potter was a favourite. She’s fall into fits of laughter at the thoughts of Rosaleen Lenihan before she even opened her mouth.

Childhood memories

I called to Tipp on my return trip. I continued the conversation of remembering Gay with Dad, my brother Phil and his two daughters, Aoife and Áine. I realised that Gay represented our time spanning Dad’s and my generation. The two young girls never saw him and knew nothing about him or the guests we remembered.

When I was their age The Late Late Show represented a boring night at home with the parents. It meant there was no social event on. Then we settled down and the The Late Late Show became part of our weekends. Gay challenged issues and was very much part of a changing and developing Ireland.

When Tim and I were 20, Gay had a The Late Late Show dedicated to young people, but they were all from Dublin. Tim wrote to Gay giving out to him and asking where was the rural voice. Another show was convened. We travelled up, where Tim was joined by four other young people for a lively discussion. That was the night that U2 made their debut on the The Late Late Show. We were only feet away from Bono and we didn’t give him a second glance. Time changes everything.

Tim was again on the show when Gay revisited that panel when they turned 40, so we met Gay on those two occasions. He was formal but friendly.

When it comes to emotion, it is really important that we are able to express our feelings. Gay did that too. We all remember the horror that gripped the nation after the Omagh bombing. Gay encapsulated our feelings: “I can’t cope, I don’t know what to say to these people. Am I out of step wishing that these people rot in hell forever?”

One of the shows that sticks in my mind was the interview with Dr Tiede Herrema who was kidnapped by the IRA and held for 36 days. Dad and Phil remembered the time Gay rang a lady to tell her she’d won the postal quiz to learn that her daughter had been killed in a traffic accident. Poet Brendan Kennelly was on hand and Gay expertly dealt with the situation, getting Brendan to recite words of the poem Begin:

Begin again to the summoning birds

to the sight of the light at the window…

There is a lesson in that for all of us. There is always an opportunity and a reason to begin again.