We have just had a holiday and are back energised with renewed focus on all aspects of our lives. Nevertheless, it’s like we were never away. Young calves are being weaned from milk and they are noisily protesting. The Leaving Cert and Junior Cert exams are well underway. Some parents are complaining about the pressure on their sons and daughters. We cannot cushion our children from knocks as they go through life. Exams are not just about the subject content. They are about the management of stress in times of trouble.

They are lifelong lessons in time management

Self-regulation is difficult when life challenges hit and school exams are probably the first lessons in honing our coping capacity. They are lifelong lessons in time management. Getting the paper finished is the number-one test and getting it done under pressure is a very worthwhile experience. I’m left scratching my head. Of course there is pressure attached to exams!

Listening

If you ever think you are alone and hard done by, just pause and listen to other people’s stories. You are never alone. Tim and I were in the most idyllic place last weekend. We were in Albufeira for a wedding. We were sitting sipping a drink in the restaurant/bar on the beach. The little cove was full of sunbathers on blue beds with cream umbrellas.

Cartoon by Clyde Delaney.

The waves broke a few metres away heralding the wild Atlantic. It looks much less wild on the shores of Portugal. A lady in a blue floral dress sat at the next table. Everything is floral and bright coloured in the sunshine. Two English ladies in more floral dresses came along to get something to eat. Spotting the lady in blue, they approached her greeting her warmly. They probably knew her from the hotel. It seemed that kind of relationship. No names were exchanged. They asked how her daughter was. She folded her arms over her lunch and began her story in very good English.

It went like this. “I am Danish and you know Danish people never holiday in their own country. We always travel. When our second daughter was born, the doctors called us. They said, ‘There is something wrong with your daughter’.” I stopped dead in my tracks. Tim and I had been chatting about this and that. “It happens the world over,” I said. Tim nodded. The lady continued. “You see they said she might not be able to walk after 11, 18 or 24 years of age, who knows. So we decided to travel the world as soon as our daughter could walk. She began to walk at 10 years so our journeys began. We’ve been to Indonesia, many African countries, taken the train 52 hours from Moscow across Siberia onto Mongolia. We’ve experienced India and Vietnam.” She went on to detail many other trips. I couldn’t take it all in.

“So when she cannot walk anymore she will be able to say, “I’ve seen the world! I’ve been to the Papua tribe in New Guinea...’.” As I was thinking that they must have loads of money, she continued. “We live simply, we have a simple house, I’m an expert at cheap holidays and trains. I use a backpack and carry my daughters.”

A beautiful wedding

We were finished at the reaturant/bar so we moved away. But I couldn’t get the lady in the blue floral dress out of my head. Her daughter is now 20-years-old and her life goes on.

It doesn’t matter where you are; your experiences, memories and challenges go with you and strengthen you.

It was time for the most beautiful of weddings. Aoife came through the palms onto a petal-strewn aisle on the arm of her dad, Barne

When rearing children we make decisions that affect them. We never know if they have been right or not. Still we did our best.

It was time for the most beautiful of weddings. Aoife came through the palms onto a petal-strewn aisle on the arm of her dad, Barney. Donal, the groom greeted her at the top in front of garlands of flowers backed by the ocean and bathed in sunshine. Donal travelled to school in my car for years every second week while Breda, his mum, did the other week. Where did the years go? Their exams came and went. They travelled and returned to Irish shores. Their lives stretch before them and our good wishes of happiness and health go with Aoife and Donal as they set out on their life journey together.