Christmastime is for children and we do all in our power to make it special. Children have a wonderful innocence, an unadulterated trust and the ability to accept the magic. They have hopefully no real experience of loss save for that of a trusted family pet. Not every child is that lucky – but many children here in Ireland get to experience Christmas at its best.

Loss of a loved one changes Christmas forever. The dynamic shifts. Children sense it and their equilibrium unsettles. I was only a little over two when my father, Phil Bowe died. My brother, Phil was born seven months later.

I think of my mother, Maria and how difficult it must have been for her. I was probably seven or eight before I began to understand why my mother cried so easily around Christmas time. There was a wistfulness about her in those early years. I’m sure she was wondering what might have been.

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Mam’s destiny changed when she married my stepdad, John Campion. Mine and my brother Phil’s changed too. I remember my three parents with fondness at this time of year.

As children grow and develop, they too experience loss. The magic dies a little but it is replaced with maturity, understanding and empathy for other people. The world gets bigger and moments of togetherness with family and friends take on new meaning and magic becomes love.

Thinking of others

As I prepare for Christmas dinner, I will cherish the fact that I’m able to do it. Tim, Diarmuid and I will share Christmas dinner with Julie, David and our grandson, Ricky. We will miss the boys. They have commitments to their wives’ families that they have to fulfil too. There comes a time when young growing families need to stay in their own house. It makes life easier and it is important to remember that it happened to us all.

I think of those in strife for whatever reason and I wish them the peace of the season. In spite of everything that happens, life goes on. Looking back over 2025, I know that many people lost loved ones but it’s those that were taken too soon that I want us to remember this Christmas. Those families deserve our thoughts and prayers.

There comes a time when young growing families need to stay in their own house. It makes life easier and it is important to remember that it happened to us all

I started to think about the deaths of young people in their prime when the horrific crash took place in Dundalk. The nation was shocked. There was widespread sympathy for the five young friends that died that day.

We lost our own young person from our extended family early in the year. Ronan Neill, my first cousin Annette’s son, died just after Christmas in early January. Ronan was only 21 and had been ill for some time. His parents, Annette and Brian and his siblings Cian, Conor and Riona will find this Christmas tough.

Another cherished young person, Aoife Shelly (22) died in Tipperary during March after a short illness. Aoife’s story reached me from my home parish in Moyne-Templetouhy. Aoife played football for the club and was a talented and much-loved young girl. Her parents, Joe and Claire and her brother Eoghan will struggle this Christmas.

I spoke to Martina Gaynor on the phone the day of her daughter, Lillie’s funeral. Lillie (19) was a talented GAA player and died suddenly last April. Her parents, Eamonn and Martina and sisters, Aisling, Mollie and Grace will miss her terribly this Christmas.

Those three young people who died were getting on with their third level education. All three loved the GAA. Their hopes and dreams stretched out before them. Life is precious and beautiful but sometimes very hard. It is ok to find it difficult to understand.

Merry Christmas.