This is a subscriber-only article
Dear Miriam,
I think I may have developed a social anxiety problem after moving home to the farm. As a socially awkward/shy person, I welcomed the opportunity to move from my city job to help out on the farm, but I’m afraid it didn’t turn out as I expected. I think I have developed a social anxiety problem and now have a problem facing people. Can you recommend any advice for anybody suffering from this kind of a condition in rural Ireland?
If it gets to a stage where a person develops a borderline phobia Miriam, is a hypnotherapist really the only option? Are there clinical hypnotherapists in Ireland who deal with this kind of thing?
Thanks,
Regular Reader
Dear Regular Reader,
Thank you for your letter, which I’m sure many people will identify with.
While I don’t personally have a recommendation regarding a hypnotherapist as this is not my area of expertise, I have contacted Social Anxiety Ireland, which provides a number of supports, including a social anxiety treatment group.
This group uses a CBT-based approach, which means talking about the thoughts and feelings people have before, during and after a difficult social situation and working on how those can be modified. This programme is currently only available in Dublin and there is a six-month waiting list, but if you email info.socialanxietyireland@gmail.com or text/call 085-216-8981, they will be happy to explain the process.
Further information, including a directory of professionals experienced in treating social anxiety, is available at www.socialanxietyireland.com, while they also recommend a book called Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness by Gillian Butler, as well as the support services offered by Aware www.aware.ie
I have also been in touch with Kerry-based psychotherapist Harriet McGuigan (www.harrietmcguigan.com), who is especially skilled at empowering people to be the best version of themselves. I hope her words give you the support to take the next step towards the fulfilling future you deserve.
Sometimes living in the country – or the city – can be isolating for many of us. While it is sometimes nice to have some solitude away from friends and family, we do need a few good people in our lives.
Harriet writes:
I am truly sorry that it hasn’t worked out as planned in moving out of the city to the country. That can be hard when we have hopes that changing our circumstances can lead to more inner peace. It is especially disappointing when this does not end up being the case.
Sometimes living in the country – or the city – can be isolating for many of us. While it is sometimes nice to have some solitude away from friends and family, we do need a few good people in our lives. A few only needs to be one or two. It is a challenge if you are not currently in this position or have anxiety about even being in this circumstance.
I really empathise with you and one can at times feel very misunderstood when one declines invitations to gatherings. People can feel that we don’t care or are not bothered – when really we are stuck to the edge of our bed filled with panic, anxiety, fear and dread.
The first thing you need to have when facing your anxiety is some access to compassion and patience. Usually one can acquire this through the support of a caring friend, a letter from someone kind, an acquaintance, psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist or life coach: basically just one person who deep down you know believes in you. It may be that behind all that anxiety, you believe in yourself.
If it is too hard presently to leave your home because of your social anxiety, could it be possible to set up an appointment with a reputable, accredited therapist via Skype?
I truly wish you well on your journey towards wellness. You are doing the very best you can with your knowledge, awareness and experience. You are so enough - it is unbelievable.
SHARING OPTIONS: