Question: We have our first child’s confirmation in the next couple of weeks and we’re having a small celebration here in the house afterwards. We’re inviting both sets of grandparents and godparents for dinner.

My brother-in-law has decided to skip it, despite being her godfather, as he is going on a stag to Edinburgh with his college friends. However, now my husband is in a huff. He says we went to all their kids’ celebrations, and he should have his priorities straight.

It doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

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This same man is a big personality who can take over a room, so I think it would be nice to have a quieter celebration on the day. But my husband has now fallen out with his brother over it, who has told him he’s being petty.

How do I broker some kind of peace deal so my daughter’s father isn’t in a big sulk on her big day?

A weary wife, Co Limerick.

Dear reader,

You and your young daughter have been caught in the middle of an unfortunate family fallout, which has nothing to do with either of you and more to do with male egos.

Your husband has a point, in that if he has in the past shown up to his nieces and nephews’ special days, it’s not unreasonable to expect his brother-in-law to do the same. Particularly when the gentleman concerned is your daughter’s godfather, and may have a role to play in her confirmation ceremony.

If your child’s other godparent is available to perform duties on the big day, I would try to convince your husband to let this go for your daughter’s day.

In saying that, life is so busy nowadays and it’s unlikely the stag do that’s causing the clash was a spur of the moment decision. It’s more than likely been planned months in advance, with flights and hotels already booked and paid for.

While the confirmation date was issued a few months back too, and it is a religious milestone for your family, it can fall down the priority list for others.

If your child’s other godparent is available to perform duties on the big day, I would try to convince your husband to let this go for your daughter’s day. It’s highly doubtful this man will be missed, given you will have other family around you on the day, so there’s little point souring relations by causing a row over it.

Reader writes

As a father of three children in my sixties, I never read such nonsense in Irish Country Living (18 April, 2026). I have two first cousins with the same name, it never bothered my mother or my aunts. That Longford man and his wife have nothing to worry about, once both babies are born safe.

Reader writes

I just read the article on this week’s Irish Country Living (18 April 2026). Where is the excitement gone to wait until the baby arrives, without everyone knowing the gender of the baby and the name? It seems family privacy has gone out the window.

What about if each family wants to call their baby after the grandparents? It’s a great honour to have the names go from generation to the next. Their priority should be that both babies arrive safe and well and both mothers be well after their delivery, instead of their current childish behaviour. Best of luck to both.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie