Recently, I was invited to address a meeting in Skibbereen on rural isolation by none other than a Garda Sergeant. I had come to her notice as someone who cared about rural Ireland and the problems that are encountered on a daily basis. Sergeant Edel Burke is stationed in Co Clare. For the last three or four years in the line of her duties, Edel has realised that she might be the only person that a farmer might see in a day, or even a week. The idea that people were that isolated from interaction with others bothered her deeply. She organised a meeting on rural isolation in her own work area.

It was well received. She continued her efforts all over Co Clare. Good news spreads and she has since helped her colleagues in Mayo and Donegal to organise meetings in their areas. Recently she was contacted by her colleagues in West Cork. Her latest gathering has been in Skibbereen.

Isolation comes in many forms. It can be due to location. It can come about due to bereavement or a family member in difficulty. Something might happen to make a person feel vulnerable. He/she might feel ashamed or guilty. Each is powerful enough to damage your mental health. So try not to engage with either. People take on guilt and blame themselves for things completely outside of their control. It eats away at you and damages your personal performance and your work.

Shame, for whatever reason, is even more debilitating. People can feel ashamed when misfortune befalls them. The recent fodder crisis is an example where farmers felt responsible if they didn’t have fodder and yet the situation was quite outside their control due to serious, unrelenting rainfall since last August. It has been a trigger for depression.

PERSONAL STORIES

The meeting was addressed by Seamus Sherlock, ICSA, who told a powerful story of his battle with the banks in order to keep his farm. He encouraged farmers in difficulty to recognise “that anything is possible” and that there are resolutions, but you must talk to someone.

Noreen Murphy spoke passionately about her husband Donal’s suicide in 2007, following two very difficult years when they struggled to find the support that Donal needed. She and her three children had to rebuild their lives. Because there was no appropriate help for Donal, Noreen established Lisheen House, Skibbereen, a suicide prevention charity, in 2014. Lisheen House has been going from strength to strength, providing free counselling and other services.

CONCERNED GARDAÍ

Several gardaí from the area were present on the night. Sergeant Ian O’Callaghan addressed the family devastation following a suicide, fear of crime and vulnerable young people. We don’t think of gardaí as caring about people in this light, but listening to them speak about the issues they are encountering was quite an eye-opener. The issue was not about rural crime or law enforcement, but instead the focus was on how to help people who were in deep and dark depression due to difficult farming and other circumstances. The gardaí have had bad press for some time now and it has overshadowed the good work that is being done daily on the ground. The men and women of the force in West Cork are deeply concerned about their communities and rural towns, and are proactive in trying to find solutions.

Full credit must go to Edel for starting this initiative. It is not rocket science. It is the gardaí taking a lead in tackling rural isolation. Their ears are to the ground and they know the people who might be in difficulty.

TALK TO SOMEONE

The message was loud and clear from all speakers; talk to someone, let them know you are in difficulty. Contact Lisheen House on 028-51950 or the relevant organisation in your area. Take that first step to healing yourself.

It is crucial that we are ready to listen. It is easy to keep talking, but it is a skill to be able to stop and allow the space for someone to begin to talk. It is terribly difficult to begin that conversation.

If you have any suspicion at all, ask the questions: “are you feeling okay? You seem down, can I help?” You might not have the answers, but you can assure the person that “we will find the answers together”.

I’m a Bruce Springsteen fan as many will know. In his book Born to Run he writes: “I had an attack of agitated depression… I was so profoundly uncomfortable in my own skin I just wanted OUT. It feels dangerous and brings plenty of unwanted thoughts. I was uncomfortable doing anything. Standing … walking … sitting down … everything brought waves of anxiety that I’d spend every waking minute trying to dispel.” You are not alone. Talk to someone, anyone… CL