Dear Miriam,

I am writing to ask for your advice about helplines. I will explain my story briefly. In 2011, I was in hospital for seven months due to mental illness, then five months in rehab. Then in 2013, I spent five weeks in hospital and five weeks in rehab. I still get very down but I am afraid to ask my doctor or my family for help as I am afraid they will ask me to go to hospital or rehab again. I have been in rehab a lot over the past three years, but now I feel sick at the thought of going back.

When I feel very low, I think about ending my life. I wonder do you have any advice on helplines that would help me through these times? I tell others that there is plenty of help out there, they just need to ask for it. But why am I so reluctant to listen to my own advice?

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Kind regards,

Male Reader

Dear Male Reader,

First of all, thank you so much for your email. I understand the strength it takes to reach out and ask for help. Indeed, it is the first – and often, the most important – step.

To get you the best advice possible, I have been in touch with Console (www.console.ie) a wonderful charity that does such valuable work nationwide, including supporting people in suicidal crisis.

Like me, they recognise that it takes a lot of courage to cope with mental illness and sometimes a lot more to reach out for help, as you have done here. Having spent long spells in hospital and rehab, it is understandable that you may not want to return to either. Indeed, from what you say in your letter, it sounds like you manage quite well but that you would like to be able to talk to someone from time-to-time about how you feel. However, your fear of being re-admitted to hospital seems to be holding you back from doing so at the moment.  

Sometimes, time in hospital is necessary for various reasons, such as stabilising medication, but with good professional and social support, you may be able to manage well outside of hospital. Have you thought of talking to your doctor and family about your fear that they will have you admitted to hospital if you tell them how you are feeling? I would imagine they would be very understanding, if only they knew.

Mental health issues can often leave a person feeling very lonely and helpless. If you don’t have the chance to talk about how you feel, those thoughts can indeed progress into “what’s the point?”, which, in turn, can lead to thoughts of suicide. However, you are right, there are always helplines to support you through these times. Talking with someone anonymously or in complete confidence can sometimes feel easier than talking to those closest to us. Also, if you are having increasing thoughts of suicide, or if the thoughts are becoming more intensive, talking it through with a professional will help ease that burden and allow you some space to clarify your options. Here are a few helplines that would really welcome your call:

• Console 1800-247-247: This helpline is manned 24 hours a day and is completely free to call. Console counsellors are trained to work specifically with suicidal thoughts and ideation.

• The Samaritans 116-112: Free to call anytime of the day or night, the Samaritans are available for those who feel isolated or in need of a general listening ear.

• The Farm & Rural Stress Helpline 1800-742-645: Free to call anytime of the day or night and specifically supports those isolated rurally.

Alternatively, as you emailed us, perhaps written communication might be comfortable for you? Online email helpline support is available through Aware (www.aware.ie) by emailing supportmail@aware.ie.You mentioned that sometimes you are reluctant to listen to your own advice. Nevertheless, by simply contacting this column with your query, it’s clear you are open to receiving some help. This is such a positive action in itself and I urge you to continue taking steps to reach out for additional support at such a difficult time. I wish you the very best. CL