I applied for the job of part-time assistant recycling attendant at the waste management facility on the Drumbarrel road. I didn’t expect that getting my CV together would be such a bother. I was sure ’twould be what one might call a slim volume. Beyond my primary and secondary schooling, all there is to say about me is that I’ve spent years on the council.

The Mother wasn’t impressed with my efforts: “You’re sellin’ yourself short,” says she. “What about all you’ve done in the council? How many committees did you sit on over the years? How many of those environmental junkets did you go on? You need to blow your own trumpet, no one else will.”